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The 7 Greatest Faceless Announcers in Video Games

Posted 11/18/2008 12:00 PM by Gerasimos Manolatos

Filed under: Announcers, Greatest, Lists, Sounds

With game companies scrambling to secure rights of top flight celebrities (and John Madden) for voiceovers, cameo appearances, and other marginally related uses of their fame, some of the most memorable contributions in gamedom have come from the anonymous dudes with vocal 'tudes. We've sifted through all the mouth pollution and pulled out our favorites:

Halo series

Memorable Lines: Double Kill. Overkill. Killtrocity. Killimanjaro. Killionaire!

Mortal Kombat series

Memorable Lines: Finish Him/Her! Fatality!

NBA Jam

Memorable Lines: Whoaaaaaaa KA-boom! Rejected! From downtown! Nails it! He's on fire!

And, our personal favorite: GUGLIOTTA!

Gauntlet

Memorable Lines: Treasure, 100 points. Remember, don't shoot the food. Save keys to open doors. Save potions for later use. Warrior, your life force is running out. Wizard needs food badly. That was a heroic effort.

Soul Calibur series

Memorable Lines: "Transcending history and the world, a tale of souls and swords eternally retold."

"A formidable opponent awaits. K.O. Victory belongs to the last one standing. You win!"

720 Degrees

Memorable Line: Skate or Die!

Unreal Tournament series

Memorable Lines: Headshot!

Mega Kill! Ultra Kill! Monster Kill! Rrrrrampage. Massacre.

Holy Shit!

Honorable Mentions

NFL Blitz

Memorable Lines: Spins! Hurdles! Touchdoowwwn!

EA Sports guy

Memorable Line: EA Sports, it's in the game.

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Keywords: Announcers, Greatest, Lists, Sounds

The 18 Greatest Toilets in Video Games

Posted 11/10/2008 3:00 PM by Gerasimos Manolatos

Filed under: Lists, Video Game Toilets, Funny

We all use it, sometimes even multiple times a day. Which is probably the reason we have such a soft place in our hearts for holes in the ground where human waste passes through. In fact there are even a couple of days every year where we all bow down and worship our porcelain friends. From Wikipedia: The Japan Toilet Association celebrates an unofficial Toilet Day on November 10, because in Japan the numbers 11/10 (for the month and the day) can be read as ii-to(ire), which also means "Good Toilet". So, there you go. Enjoy our fab 18 and make sure you come back on November 19 for World Toilet Day, where we'll be unveiling two more awesome butt thrones!

Silent Hill: Homecoming (Konami, 2008)
Cleanliness factor: 0/10
Realism factor: 5/10
How good are the toilets in this game? Even the zombies chose one as its final place of rest. Just make sure you find one, you know, not occupied by scissor-handed life forms or nurses with disfigured faces.

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Keywords: Lists, Video Game Toilets, Funny

The Worst Teams in NBA Live History

Posted 10/03/2008 11:00 AM by Gerasimos Manolatos

Filed under: EA sports, Lists, NBA Live 09, Sports, Basketball

Every year for the past 15 years, EA Sports has released a game with "NBA Live" somewhere in the title. And every year, there's been one lonely team back, back, back, back holding down the position of the worst team that year. With the release of the new Dynamic DNA feature, it'll be a more fluid position—players will automatically be rated every day with how well they are performing in the league. Which got us thinking: Who's been the worst of the worst over the past decade and a half? Who's been rated the worst in the game and then delivered on their expected mediocrity? Take a look:

Rudy Gay, of the worst-rated Memphis Grizzles, dunks a ball in NBA Live 09.
(Photo courtesy of EA Sports.)

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Keywords: EA sports, Lists, NBA Live 09, Sports, Basketball

Easy Xbox 360 Achievement Points, 2008 Edition

Posted 09/04/2008 4:00 PM by Gerry

Filed under: 2008, Achievements, Gamerscore, Lists, Xbox 360

Rent these games from the past 12 months and make your e-penis 10,000 points longer.

LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga

Challenge Factor: 5/5
How to Do It: Don't be fooled by our 5/5 challenge factor—this game boasts a slew of easy achievements that are unlocked by simply playing the game to conclusion. The thing is, you'll have to invest quite a bit of time replaying most of the levels with different characters. Maxim tip: Try out the equally easy LEGO Indiana Jones.

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Keywords: 2008, Achievements, Gamerscore, Lists, Xbox 360

The 7 Best Olympics-Themed Video Games Ever

Posted 08/14/2008 4:21 PM by Gerry

Filed under: Greatest, Lists, Olympics, Sports, Funny

Every four years, game developers flood the market with half-baked simulations of the Summer Games. Vault over those aborted turds with our guide to these passable permutations.

Pogo Stick Olympics (1988)
Platform: Commodore 64
We love this game because it brings us back to the hot summer days when we played "Pop the Balloons With a Hat" and "Jump Over Hurdles Without Breaking Your Leg."

Check out the whole list!