The Nine Least Believable Action Heroes

Note to pillow-soft actors hoping to gritty up the ol´ résumé by kicking a little cinematic ass: Stick to your strengths. Please.

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

Lonestar? We found 10.

Angelina Jolie

That's some fine Croft-manship.

Jerry’s at the urinal in an airport restroom when a guy with no arms…

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4. Ben Affleck, Daredevil
What´d they fill out his superhero jumpsuit with, sand? Never mind that he moves as if encased in Jell-O. Even behind a mask, Affleck´s affectations betray the keen intelligence and sensory extravagance of the titular character. He ruined the Daredevil comics for us, and we won´t soon forgive him for this. And still every morning he gets to wake up next to Elektra/Jen Garner. God is dead.

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[11/22/2008]