The Nine Least Believable Action Heroes

Note to pillow-soft actors hoping to gritty up the ol´ résumé by kicking a little cinematic ass: Stick to your strengths. Please.

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

Lonestar? We found 10.

Angelina Jolie

That's some fine Croft-manship.

Jerry’s at the urinal in an airport restroom when a guy with no arms…

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5. Demi Moore, G.I. Jane
She certainly looked like an army grunt after spending the better part of eight months training for the role on a plastic surgeon´s table. Wait, did we say "on a plastic surgeon´s table"? We meant "working out really hard with trainers who made her lift heavy things." Nonetheless, every time Demi opens her mouth, her sexy St. Elmo´s Fire rasp jerks our attention away from her lean bod and shaved pate. She gets a hearty slap on the tush for trying, though.

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[11/22/2008]