Did you have trouble convincing your boss to let you take two days off from work to watch the tournament? What, no Good Friday vacation at JP Morgan? We’ve got the solution for you, fresh from the Oregon Urology Institute. Rather than feigning a cough to get out of work, or sneaking peaks at sports websites all day, why not go all out and get a vasectomy? After all, what better excuse is there to sit on the couch for four straight days than recovering from that elective reproductive surgery you’ve been putting off for so long?

CNN.com reports:

"When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," the clinic's radio ad says. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city."

A local radio station near the clinic is even willing to send a recovery kit of sports magazines and free pizza delivery vouchers for patients/fanatics willing to make the commitment Sounds like a fool-proof plan to us. But maybe you’re worried about second thoughts? Well, someone dumb enough to get their junk cut open to watch basketball once, might just be up for pulling the same stunt next year, reverse-style. And if not, the gene pool probably benefits anyway.