Your new album is titled Rock and Roll Jesus. Aside from a love of rock, what do you and the Son of God have in common?
Probably the long hair. And I wish I could learn that water-to-wine trick. I’m scared to send my children to church with all the crap going on there. I shouldn’t say more than that, because it’s a touchy subject. But whatever, people need to stop being so fucking uptight.

What’s more important, a hit song on the Billboard charts or a hit song in the strip clubs?
I don’t give a screw about awards or charts. As a man who wants everyone to do well in this country, a song like "So Hot" is a great way for me to support single moms.

Do you still have a stripper pole in your studio?
I’ve got a portable one. Put a pole in a room and girls can’t help themselves. All girls want to be sexy. It’s like having a keg at the party rather than cans of beer.

Is being a rock star the easiest way to get laid?
This story sums it up: A kid’s sitting on his dad’s lap, and the dad says, "Son, someday you’ll love a woman as best you can, but then another man will come along and love her 10 times better. That man is called a musician." I used to call myself Pimp of the Nation, but I had to step it up to International Baller.

What’s your craziest groupie story?
There’s one involving a shady time in a bathroom with a kid on a skateboard with no legs. That’s all I can say.