Who's Tougher: Indiana Jones or Han Solo
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ENTERTAINMENT
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Time to pick a side, folks: fedora-wearing globe-trotting adventurer, or Wookiee-loving rogue space pirate?
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INDIANA JONES |
HAN SOLO |
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Archeology professor (part-time), adventurer |
Illegal spice smuggler, pilot-for-hire |
EDGE: HAN SOLO
Indy's extracurricular activities aren't technically legal, but Solo lives entirely outside the law. |
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Bullwhip, pistol, machete |
Laser blaster |
EDGE: INDIANA JONES
Solo's gun can do more damage, but Indy's variety plays better in close quarters and at parties. |
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Whatever's handy at the time |
The Millennium Falcon |
EDGE: SOLO
A stolen Nazi truck is nothing compared to your own heavily armed space cargo ship. It even comes with virtual chess! |
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A bumbling chubby Egyptian; a bumbling British fellow professor; a child |
A seven-foot Wookiee with a rep for tearing arms off |
EDGE: SOLO
It's not wise to upset a Wookiee. Chewie is the ultimate wingman, and the only one we want standing behind us in a bar fight. |
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A classic toe-to-toe brawler. Not concerned with height/weight disadvantage (see: shirtless German mechanic, giant Thuggee guard) or the safety of others. Will fight dirty if he has to |
Fearless in a gunfight (known to chase Stormtroopers just for shits and giggles), but hand to hand is an unknown commodity |
EDGE: INDY
Han's a good shooter, but his fists have seen less action than Glass Joe's. |
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Quick thinker, but relies on luck a large part of the time. Fully admits to making things up as he goes |
Even in the thick of a dogfight, remains unflappably cocky and arrogant |
EDGE: SOLO
Anyone who can crack jokes while just a Wookiee pube away from smashing headlong into an asteroid has a set of brass ones. |
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He's been shot, dragged, beaten, and poisoned, but rarely displays more than a limp |
Tortured, frozen in carbonate, and temporarily blinded |
EDGE: INDY
Solo gets through the Star Wars trilogy relatively unscathed (he has all his limbs at the end, which you can't say for everyone), while Indy wouldn't be Indy if he didn't get repeatedly smacked around. |
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Treats women like Bic razors: First he's got tough tomboy Marion Ravenwood, then he's shacked up with Hong Kong showgirl Willie Scott, then he's canoodling with domineering Hotzi Elsa Schneider |
A one-woman guy. But at least that one woman is a brassy space princess with more cajones than her whiny-ass twin brother. And she doesn't even have Jedi mind tricks to fall back on |
EDGE: INDY
Once again, it all comes down to variety. |
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"Oh, Marcus. What are you trying to do, scare me? You sound like my mother." |
"I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur." |
EDGE: INDY
It's true. Marcus does sound like his mother. |
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Just narrowly making it under the closing door, INDIANA JONES squeaks by Han Solo for the title. But remember, it's not the toughness, it's the mileage. |
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