"I'll show you a well-hung jury."

"Why don't you let me appeal you out of that pants suit?"

"Let me foam-finger you."

"Hey, at least I'm not Reggie Miller."

"I'll screw you like I screwed the Knicks' payroll."

"I'd be happy to assist you out of your dress and onto my penis."

"Damn! And I thought Allan Houston was the biggest bust in Knicks history."

"Gatorade isn't the only thing that quenches thirst. Take my balls, for instance."

"There's a four-year, $30-million contract for you…in my pants!"

"Wanna have sex, fellow MSG employee?"

"The Knicks suck, and you should, too"

"I'm innocent until proven sexy!"

"Bitch, I might not give a screw about the long-suffering Knick fans, but I give a screw about you."

"If you finish that paperwork, I'll show you my new finger-roll technique. Bring lube."

"But, seriously, how bad do you want to be a halftime dancer?"

"We should take a trip together. I already booked this place in Colorado that Kobe won't shut up about."

"All the other guys used to wear cups when I was playing, I had to wear a bowl."

"If you have sex with me, I will give you money."

"I'm way better at finding the clit than at finding a decent center."

"Check out my pin, I care about autism. Now check out my dick."

"Our new game plan: penetration, penetration, penetration."

"I ain't no one-Manute man."

"Short shorts provide easy access…to orgasms."

"Wanna make a quick $11.6 million?"