For those of you who don’t know, the NCAA holds its own versions of the three-point shooting and slam-dunk contest every year at the Final Four. Essentially, players from those teams not actually still playing in the tournament compete against each other to be called the Best Shooters and Dunkers Not Still Playing in The Tournament. As you can imagine, it’s quite an honor.  

Later in the evening, JR Giddens may have provided the most hilarious moment, however—at least for those of us who grew up watching the Fresh Prince of Bel Air:

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The only thing more disgusting than listening to old white men talk is listening to old white men talk about sex. And thanks to the verbiage used in college hoops, the CBS commentators have been spewing the type of randy language usually reserved for Wednesday nights on Fox. As we head toward the Final Four, and three straight Nantz-Packer games, here are the well worn basketball phrases that will have us scrambling for the mute button.

Take it to the hole

Dribble penetration

Skilled ballhandler

Stroke it from deep

Double team the post

Around the rim

Backdoor cut

Put a body on your man

Pound it inside

Backcourt violation

Loose ball scramble

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