Coors claims its new vented, wide-mouth can pours faster and with less glugging than cans that lack the barely perceptible ding beside its cave-size opening. The folks at Coors assured us that this merely gets the beer into your glass—not your gut—faster. So college students should in no way use this technological breakthrough to more efficiently douche their digestive tracks in delicious barley soda.

We put this to a test with results that overwhelmingly supported Coors' assertions. Then we tested it a second time and had completely opposite results.