As you know from this morning's "Look how cool I am" post, I have a badge and wristband that gets me into the AVN porn convention. This afternoon I headed over there with a camera and half a box of condoms. The condoms weren't because I was expecting to get laid, but because I didn't want any part of my body touching anything in there without at least a thin layer of protection.

But since you've seen most of the girls that were there doing things that would make our sex bloggers blush, I decided to snap a few photos of the funny and kind of depressing stuff that was going on. But don't worry! You'll see the porn chicks in the video that'll be posted tomorrow.

Click the link below for the rest of the sad, erotic story...

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There are a lot of things I like about CES, but there are also a lot of people that I hate. It's not that I'm some grumpy old curmudgeon (25 isn't that old), but it's just that lots of people here are jerks. Take the gentlemen pictured above. I know their game. They go out on the floor and pick up every free piece of crap they can find, regardless of how useless it is or how idiotic it makes them look. I guess it works out for everyone in the end, though. The companies get free advertising, the douches get their precious cargo, and I have a surefire way of determining the people that aren't worth talking to. It's really the next best thing to wearing a sign that says "I'm such an idiot that I don't realize how stupid I look walking around with an inflatable surfboard on my back in 50-degree weather. Please don't talk to me because I'm in a hurry to get home and fall for e-mail scams."

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I couldn't, with good conscience, come to Vegas when a porn convention is in town and not at least stop by to see what's popping off (or out). It's still early and most of the porn stars are still waking up and wiping down, so I'm going to go look at some gadgets at CES. But later this afternoon I'll be porning it up. Or maybe I'll just sell my badge to some 36-year-old virgin here for CES. (Just kidding. Probably.)

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