We tried to interview U.S. Marine Paul Miller as he motivated doughy AMP-powered marketing and PR professionals on stationary bikes to peddle long enough to provide power for the first half hour of Fox's Super Bowl pre-game show. If the man had any idea what kind of commu-sexual celebrity fuckfest he was enabling, he would have fragged the whole brigade. Instead, he made me do do PT until my ass sucked buttermilk.

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I'm not too cool to admit excitement at meeting someone famous, it's just never happened. But when I shook the hand of the single most monumental figure of my youth... the greatest quarterback in the history of non-model-banging quarterbacks... the man on whose rookie card I spent over $100 the moment I could afford to... for a brief moment I was as close as I've ever come to being the star-struck, monkey-humping douche bag that Bill Simmons is his every working day. Then he started talking about his kids and being old and stuff and I tuned out. But I'll remember that one brief moment for as long as I—holy crap, there's Heidi Montag!!!

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As you know by now, I spent most of the day shooting photos of the gorgeous New England Patriots cheerleaders. These are just a taste so check back for more images of these beautiful ladies than you can shake some pom poms at.

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We're going to be quizzing cute girls on the easiest football trivia in an effort to feel better about ourselves. Installment No. 1: These chicks.

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There's nothing more satisfying than seeing TV personalities go ape crap, which is why this clip of Boomer yelling at his staff has been on constant repeat this afternoon. Hearing him say "screw" is like watching a bear ride a bike or a fat guy drink a diet soda. Here's a breakdown of the curses:

• "Jesus": 5
• "Goddam": 2
• "Screw": 3
• "It's like no one here has worked on TV before": 2

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