The 10 Worst Broadcasters in Sports
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SPORTS
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Sportscasters have gone from trusted experts to pompous, blathering idiots. We put the biggest offenders on notice.
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5. Bryant GumbelOne assumes the NFL Network wanted Gumbel because the newsman added gravitas to a fledgling outlet. Gravitas, however, only matters if you don’t suck. Though adept as the host of HBO’s Real Sports, Gumbel was out of his element as a play caller. He routinely misdiagnosed plays, spotted the ball at the wrong yard line, and once referred to the game’s quarters as “periods.” He called Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo “Rick Romo” and 49ers running back Frank Gore “Al Gore.” Mercifully, the network and Gumbel parted ways last April so he could return to Teleprompter reading.
He said it: “The Patriots...come back on the field for the first time this evening.”
4. Dick VitaleOnce upon a time, Dickie V was an exciting, spontaneous announcer. Now he’s a mugging cartoon whose catch phrases—“dipsy-doo dunkaroo,” “slam-jam-bam, baby!”—send fans scrambling for a dull razor. Vitale’s obsession with Duke and Coach K borders on a disorder, and his tireless defense of even the most unethical college coaches is laughable. Last year when Florida coach Billy Donovan accepted the Orlando Magic job, then quit a day later, Vitale noted, “Those things happen.” He’d make a helluva used car salesman, though.
He said it: “Go to my Web site, Dick Vitale dot com! You can get my bobblehead and my books and also an alarm clock to wake you up!”
3. Joe MorganESPN’s lead baseball color commentator relishes any chance to remind non–Hall of Fame second basemen that he, Joe Morgan, Hall of Fame second baseman, is a Hall of Fame second baseman. He’s also the most condescending broadcaster in sports—so despised he’s inspired a Web site: firejoemorgan.com. When not making Barry Bonds out to be Mother Teresa, he’s bashing execs who use stats rather than scouts to evaluate players—the science of sabermetrics detailed in the 2003 book Moneyball.
He said it: “Anytime you’re trying to make statistics tell you who’s gonna win the game, that’s a bunch of geeks trying to play video games.” News flash: Those geeks are your audience.
Joe also made our list of worst baseball announcers.
2. Chip CarayHe’s the grandson of legendary Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray and the son of TBS’s Braves play-by-play guy, Skip Caray. So Chip may have benefited from a little nepotism when, two years out of college, he scored a job behind the mike at Orlando Magic games. Today the MLB announcer is a fountain of inaccuracies. During last year’s ALDS, he was actually forced to apologize to Cleveland Indians fans for botching so many facts about their team.
He said it: Of the Andy Pettitte, Fausto Carmona duel in the 2007 ALDS: “You can’t get better postseason pitching than we’ve seen tonight.” Oh, yeah? How about Don Larsen’s perfect game in the 1956 World Series, Chip?
Chip also made our list of worst baseball announcers.
1. Chris BermanOne of ESPN’s original broadcasters, Berman is the godfather of taking a spectacular athletic moment and butchering it with bullshit. Whether he’s creating “wacky” nicknames for players—Mike “Enough” Aldretti, Esteban “Bats in the” Beltre—or bellowing, “Back-back-back-back-back!” whenever someone hits a home run, Boomer never fails to shoehorn his trademark nonsense into a game.
He said it: Caught on-camera in 2000 just before Monday Night Football returned from commercial: “Why does everybody all of a sudden have to move? You’ve got two fucking hours to move around. Wait 10 minutes. Jesus!...It’s like no one has worked on TV here before! Jesus!”
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