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Must-Flee TV |
Secret Millionaire (Fox)
Rich people live undercover as poor people and discover that, deep down, we all want to star on crappy reality TV.
The Ex List (CBS)
A woman unlucky at love searches for Mr. Right. A chick complaining about guys for 30 minutes? Awesome!
90210 (THE CW)
The original was so bad it was good. The remake is worse. That's bad.
Kings (NBC)
An update of the biblical story of King David? We think we'll be rooting for Goliath.
Outsiders' Inn (CMT)
Maureen McCormick, Bobby Brown, and Carnie Wilson run a bed and breakfast. No, seriously. |
MUST-WATCH
Fringe
Premieres: September 9, Fox Stars: Joshua Jackson, Anna Torv
In typical J.J. Abrams fashion (Lost, Alias), Fringe starts off with a bang: A plane flies into a storm, and the passengers melt into goo-covered skeletons. What the hell happened? It’s up to FBI agent Torv, genius Jackson, and an unhinged scientist to find out. “Our motivation is scaring people,” says executive producer Alex Kurtzman. “Viewers have to think what they saw is possible.” Toward that goal, unlike X-Files (to which the show is being compared), Fringe won’t feature any little green men, and you can miss an episode and not be screwed. But don’t fear, conspiracy buffs. “It may or may not be someone experimenting on our world,” teases fellow executive producer Roberto Orci. Cue ominous music.
Little Britain USA
Premieres: September 28, HBO Stars: Matt Lucas, David Walliams
Normally we’d skip watching a man shave another man’s pubes. But when said shaving is performed on HBO’s latest comedy show, we’ll make an exception. Based on the U.K.’s massively popular sketch series, Little Britain USA stars mad men Matt Lucas (right) and David Walliams. While many skits feature characters from the British series, a whole new set of oddballs is on the way. This means fans can expect not only familiar freaks like Harvey, a grown man who enjoys breast feeding (“We like it when the audience shrieks in horror,” admits Walliams), but also new, uniquely American characters like Mark and Tom. They’re a pair of homophobic gym buddies who fail to notice their own gay tendencies—like the aforementioned pubic hair shaving. Whether Lucas and Walliams are portraying British or American characters makes little difference; their crazy comedy has universal appeal. “We share a lot more than we did 25 years ago,” Lucas says. “I think it’s due to the Internet.” Whatever the reason, viewers on this side of the pond should brace for some bloody bizarre laughs.
WORTH A PEEK
 Life on Mars
Premieres: October 9, ABC
In the original hit British version of this sci-fi police drama, a car accident victim finds himself back in the year 1973 wondering whether he’s traveled through time or lost his mind. The American version takes place in N.Y.C. and stars Jason O’Mara as the stunned detective.
Our take: Suspend disbelief and any nagging “What the eff is going on?” questions and just roll with this action-packed early-’70s buddy-cop throwback.
 Testees
Premieres: October 9, FX
Former South Park writer Kenny Hotz has created a show that promises the same twisted sensibility of FX’s other strangely watchable sitcom, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The absurdity revolves around roommates who earn their keep as scientific test subjects.
Our take: Human guinea pigs waiting for the negative side effects to kick in? Solid premise, perfect title.
 Knight Rider
Premieres: September 24, NBC
Two decades after David Hasselhoff made Knight Rider an international phenomenon, the reboot picks up with the ex–Army Ranger/estranged son of Michael Knight solving crimes with his talking car, KITT, voiced by Val Kilmer.
Our take: Gearheads will love the tricked-out ride, and who doesn’t dig a gorgeous leading girl (Deanna Russo). If only the Hoff would show up drunk and eating a cheeseburger, we’d predict Emmy gold.
 Worst Week
Premieres: September 22, CBS
Following in the fat-man-with-hottie footsteps of inexplicably long-running sitcoms like According to Jim, Sam Briggs (Kyle Bornheimer) is an oafish everyman sleeping with an out-of-his-league chick. As the title suggests, he also has a knack for stumbling into awkward situations, like showing up at his girlfriend’s parents’ house in a diaper and peeing on dinner.
Our take: Could be fun, but will the wee-wee jokes become irksome after a few really bad weeks?
 Crash
Premieres: October 17, Starz
After it won Best Picture, Screenplay, and Film Editing at the 2005 Oscars, it was only a matter of time before somebody decided to turn the overrated melodrama about race relations into a TV series.
Our take: We may tune in just to see how onetime badass Dennis Hopper, as rogue record producer Ben Cendars, heads up a diverse group of Los Angeles residents.
 Kath and Kim
Premieres: October 9, NBC
Based on an Aussie sitcom, Selma Blair plays a self-absorbed, self-professed trophy wife who moves back in with her quirky, divorced mother (Molly Shannon).
Our take: Don’t be put off by the chickalicious subject matter. The Down Under version is obscene, ridiculous, and very funny. Just hope Shannon doesn’t bust out any Mary Katherine Gallagher moves.
 My Own Worst Enemy
Premieres: October 13, NBC
Christian Slater plays a suburban family man with a gorgeous wife, a couple of kids, and a secret—he shares his body with Edward Albright, a lethal killing machine, in this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rehash.
Our take: We loved Slater as a villain in Heathers, but will the first person he murders please be whoever’s responsible for every movie he’s done since Very Bad Things?
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