Utah Jazz
When they hailed from New Orleans, this made perfect sense. New Orleans is jazz music—all smooth and weird and mysterious and hopped up on something. Utah is the land of repressed Mormon sexuality. You can't pick a more exact opposite of jazz.
Suggested New Name: The Utah Restraint

Calgary Flames
Normally, you name a team to celebrate something about your home. So what did Atlanta name its first NHL franchise after? That time when William Tecumseh Sherman made it the largest outdoor barbecue this side of Houston. Then they moved to Calgary, which has not—as of this writing—ever been burned to the ground.
Suggested New Name: The Calgary Ranch Hands

Los Angeles Lakers
Name one enormous lake in Los Angeles not named Ricki. You can't, can you? Because as the Minneapolis Lakers, they paid homage to the "Land of 10,000 Lakes." In L.A., the nearest massive bodies of water are pooled in Pau Gasol's Odor-Eaters.
Suggested New Name: The Los Angeles Bryants (suggested by Kobe Bryant)

Toronto Raptors
You could probably find someone to argue that, eons ago, a velociraptor took a dump in what is now modern-day Toronto. But this is still the most cynical team name in any sport. Instead of naming the team something remotely evocative of Canada's largest city, the owners thought, You know what the kids like? That Jurassic Park movie. Let's name it after that. Of course, we should be glad they weren't the Toronto Dr. Grants.
Suggested New Name: The Toronto Maple Leaves, just to further annoy hockey fans.

New York Rangers
Unless you count that Central Park cop on horseback, there ain't no rootin', tootin' Texas lawmen anywhere near Madison Square Garden. They were christened the Rangers because their founder was named "Tex" Rickard, and the local press dubbed his new hockey team "Tex's Rangers." Too bad "Tex" was from…Missouri.
Suggested New Name: The New York Pee Smell