The Sexiest Everything 2008
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SEXY TIME
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Models, murder weapons, 200 mph Italian machines, and 56 other achingly hot people, places, and things.
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Sexiest Hunk of A/V Equipment
Take
a look. Are you thinking what we’re thinking? Wear a condom, wouldja?
Italian designer Giorgio Revoldini—known for turning deadly-dull
objects into product porn—dreamed up the SIM2 Grand Cinema C3X
projector. This hottie’s chassis is molded in Ferrari red (and comes in
three other colors). Thanks to three DarkChip 4DLP chips, the thing
blasts ultrablack blacks, a supersharp picture (1080p), and a filmlike
contrast ratio of 10,000:1.
Sexiest Thing on Two Wheels
The
smoke-spitting twin chrome exhaust cannons on this Star Raider S make
us want to hurl our watches into the dust and head across the country
in search of hot hippies and fisticuffs. New for ’08, the S model adds
more chrome to the Raider for a more custom chopper feel. Between your
legs: a 113-cubic inch air-cooled V-twin.
 Sexiest New Kink Trend
Nothing
turns us on like a current of electricity coursing through our
genitals. Electronic stimulation machines aren’t vibrators; they’re
more like jumper cables. The Super Deluxe Violet Wand Kit, for example,
comes with all manner of attachments. “They’re great for stimulation,”
says Stockroom.com CEO Joel Tucker, who hawks the $622 machine. “Or
torture, as the case may be.”
Sex Drive
Italian
supercars are like Italian fashion models: blazing hot, a little
bitchy, and built for speed. The latest catwalker: Alfa Romeo’s 8C
Competizione, the first new Alfa bound for American shores in 14 years
(set to arrive this fall). Under the hood: a 4.7-liter 32-valve V-8
that delivers 450 horsepower’s worth of bitchiness. Married to a
six-speed paddle-shifter, you’re looking at roughly a four-second 0–60.
Top end: about 185 mph. Only 85 of these beauties will come to America,
and like all things Alfa, they’re going fast. You’re more likely to get
your hands on Monica Bellucci.
Sexiest Phone Accessory
Behind
the invention of every new technology is some smarty-pants with either
a hard-on or an evil plan to rule the world. Or both! Take the Boditalk
Escort vibrator. Place it within a three-foot radius of your
girlfriend’s cellie, program in the number, and it’ll start buzzing
when a call comes in.
Sexiest Coffee-Table Book
The book Do It Yourself
poses a question: What happens when you give a bunch of young babes
their own cameras, tell them to dream up their most far-fetched erotic
fantasies, and then come back the next day? It’s a study in style and
the female libido. The subjects shoot themselves—using mirrors or a
remote shutter button. Think posers, masturbators, nude contortionists,
and every one of them smoking. Photographer Uwe Ommer got the idea for
the book when he caught a baby-sitter toying with his Polaroid. Don’t
miss Ommer’s other hot coffee-table books, Black Ladies and Asian Ladies.taschen.com, $40
Sexiest Sound Machines
Ross
Lovegrove, designer of the iconic iMac, co-created these insanely
curvaceous (and priced) lust objects for British manufacturer KEF,
who’ll produce a limited edition of 100 sets. The Muon speaker stands
more than six feet tall. The aluminum body holds a four-way speaker
system mounted to the front and two booming bass drivers in the rear.
Wanna bring sexy audio to your pad? Either drop $140,000 on a pair or
hire Rihanna to do a two-month residency.
Sexiest Watch
In
the early 1950s, the Carrera Panamericana car race, which ran from the
southern tip of Mexico to the Rio Grande, was the sexiest and deadliest
in the world. Porsche named a car after it (the iconic Carrera). The
race also inspired this watch: Tag Heuer’s Grand Carrera, first
launched in 1964 and relaunched this year. The automatic winding 40.2
mm timepiece has a curved sapphire crystal and a double sapphire
crystal case-back. It won’t hit 160 mph, but it’ll tell time in style.
Sexiest Pocket Gizmo
Plug
this five-inch-long DJ system into any amp and you’ve got an instant
house party. Tonium’s Pacemaker holds 120 gigs of music and has two
channels (like two turntables), so you can fade a tune into another.
Work the “knobs” to tweak pitch and speed.
Sexiest Murder Weapon
Every
dude needs a kitchen blade for all tasks—including scaring your loved
ones shitless. Our pick? Brieto’s lust-worthy Yo-Deba, a chef’s knife
crafted from a single piece of hammered, high-carbon stainless steel.
Ideal for cutting meat on the bone.
Sexiest Fashion Accessory
She
says: “Hey, that’s beautiful.” You say: “Thanks, sweetheart. It’s a
black studded money clip from Burberry. So how much do I owe you for
the hour?” Answer: “For you? It’s free.”
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