Who's Tougher: Lara Croft vs. Fox
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ENTERTAINMENT
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Is the gun-toting tomb raider tougher than the bullet-bending assassin? It's not an easy decision, but, hey, at least we're not asking..."Who's Sexier?"
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LARA CROFT |
FOX |
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Trust fund adventurer |
Elite member of The Fraternity, a group of highly trained assassins whose legacy dates back thousands of years |
EDGE: FOX
Fox. Lara Croft may have to shoot her way out of predicaments, but that's a side part of her job. Shooting to kill is Fox's only job.
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EDGE: FOX
Hm. What the hell? We'll say Fox. Hers are shinier. |
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Skintight tank top, hot pants |
Head-to-toe black, frilly white dresses |
EDGE: LARA CROFT
Lara. Want to make any red-blooded male drool, ladies? Just bust out your best teal-beater-and-cargo-shorts ensemble. |
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Fights ED-209-style robots for practice; performs aerial ballet in her living room |
Fights a 300-pound knife-wielding psycho; gets punched repeatedly in the face; plays "capture the flag" atop a moving subway train |
EDGE: FOX
Lara's toys are cool, but there's always the sense that she can turn them off and call a time-out when she wants. Fox's only hope for a breather is death. |
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Her father, a grumbly archeologist even more cranky and joyless than Indiana Jones' father |
Sloan, a cool-as-a-heavily-armed-cucumber badass who runs The Fraternity because he's the only assassin with enough forethought to be Morgan Freeman |
EDGE: FOX
Nothing makes you cooler than being schooled by Morgan. Just ask Batman. |
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Her butler, Hillary, (snicker); her tech geek Bryce; her dubious "friends," like fellow tomb raider Alex West or ex-Marine Terry Sheridan |
Former-accountant-turned-assassin Wesley Gibson; fellow Fraternity members with names like "Gunsmith" and "Fixer" |
EDGE: FOX
Despite being frequently double-crossed by others, Lara has two or three people she can really count on in a pinch. Fox knows she can't really trust anyone. In fact, she may even be forced to… well, we won't spoil anything. |
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Started out as the star of a video game adored by men with minimal dating options |
Started out as the star of a comic book series adored by men with minimal dating options |
EDGE: LARA CROFT
Playing video games out-toughs reading comic books. But just barely. |
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Double-fist shooting while doing backflips |
Twisting bullets in mid-flight so they can avoid objects and still hit their target |
EDGE: FOX
That's right, she looks physics in the eye and guffaws. |
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Once punched a shark in the face |
Once flipped a Dodge Viper into a bus and then kept driving |
EDGE: LARA CROFT
Shark punching? Can't touch that. |
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The fan-boy goddess falls to the assassin queen, as FOX pummels Lara Croft 6–3. Conflicted geeks everywhere are simultaneously thrilled and disappointed. Oh, and aroused, naturally. |
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