If there's one thing I like, it's beer. So you can imagine my excitement when the good people of Philadelphia invited me and a fellow Asylum writer to help kick off Philly Beer Week last weekend. For those of you who don't know, Philly is one of the meccas for beer lovers. With over 30 breweries and more than 400 beer bars in the region, Philly can leave your liver looking like the Liberty Bell if you're not careful. (Editor's Note: I am not careful.) So to do my part, I set out on a four-brewery pub crawl starting at 1 pm on Saturday to sample as many of the finest local suds the city has to offer.
First Stop: Nodding Head Brewery
Going up the stairs to this cozy, dark brewpub is the most exercise I've gotten since I arrived in Philadelphia. (Sweating out a cheesesteak doesn't feel as good as it sounds.) So, to celebrate my achievement, I belly up to the bar and order a sampler.
Ich Bin Ein Berliner Weisse - This is one of the strangest, yet most delicious beers I have ever tasted. It's tart, but not sweet, perfect for summer. And it comes with a dash of woodruff syrup on the side (you can order it with or without). According to Pete the bartender, "The light, refreshing tang of this craft beer brings together two groups of people who never meet: beer geeks and women." There are no women around me, but I take his word for it anyway.
Grog - Dark, and rich, and with a little coffee overtone. I may have to swap this English Brown Ale for my morning Folgers.
Gordo's Oatmeal Stout - Dark, classic stout, with a few hints of raspberry at the end. Rich, but light enough to not weigh you down. If I didn't have a day of drinking still ahead of me, I'd have another one. (Who are we kidding, I had another one.)
Monkey Knife Fight - This beer is almost as awesome as its name. (I say almost, because no beer can actually be as awesome as this name.) This classic summer beer is very light and the perfect palate cleanser after a couple of dark pints. It's very similar to a ginger beer, but with alcohol. Time to move on.
Second Stop: Dock Street Brewing Co.
At this point, myself and the Asylum writer are starting to feel what's called "the waterfall effect" as last night's Philly Beer Week festivities, which are still in our system, are making friends with today's Philly Beer Week festivities and multiplying the beer's effects. We walk into this brewpub and take our rightful place at the bar.
Saison du Potts - This is my favorite beer I've had all weekend. A Belgian Farmhouse Ale, this is the beer I want to be pouring in my face when I want to be pouring beer in my face. Which is most of the time.
Royal Bohemian Pilsner - Nicely hopped, this pilsner taught me what IBU's are. And since you asked, they are International Bitter Units which measures the amount of hops in a beer. This one has 40 IBUs, which puts it just under the extremely hoppy IPA (India Pale Ale).
Third Stop: Yards Brewing Company
The waterfall effect is now reaching Niagara levels. Or maybe it's just that we've been drinking for three hours. Asylum guy and I are now the best of friends. So what do best friends do? They go to the next bar and order five beers.
General Washington's Tavern Porter - Philly takes its American Revolution roots seriously. And this porter is apparently from a recipe that Washington himself used. If he'd had included it in the Constitution, I probably would've gotten an A in history.
Poor Richard's Tavern Spruce Ale - This uses Ben Franklin's recipe, which uses barley instead of hops. That's all I remember about this one.
Brawler - This malty red ale is promoted as "the beer you want when you want to go a few rounds." I am starting to feel like I already lost the fight.
Thomas Jefferson's Tavern Ale - It seems like all you had to do to be one of America's founding father's was spend all your time in a bar. If that's the case, my face belongs on our currency. (I look great in a wig*.)
Philadelphia Pale Ale - It's getting time to move on, so we fortified ourselves with this crisp, hoppy ale. I don't know what's Philadelphia about this ale, but I don't really care at this point. We finish it up and hop in a cab to our final destination.
(*Not true.)
Final stop: Triumph Brewing Company
The moment I walked outside from our previous stop I had two thoughts: 1. Why is the sun still out? and 2. I have to pee for the 14th time today. As we walk into Triumph we ask how many beers are in their sampler and are treated with a response of "8." A look of fear comes over our faces as we nervously order up one each. God help us.
Helles Lager - My handwriting has deteriorated since the day began, but I can make out "tastes good" and "I like it" in my notes. I should look into a career in beer writing.
Kinder Pils - A solid malty pils that gives me a second (or maybe third) wind. My "Kinder, gentler Pils" joke did not go over well with the bartender.
Amber Ale - This starts out light and citrus-y and finishes with a nice sweet maltiness. At this point, Asylum guy is sharing secrets he's never told anyone else. I write them down with the plan of blackmailing him later. He notices "blackmail Asylum guy" in my notes and our friendship momentarily deteriorates. I am forced to tell Asylum guy about the time I wet my pants at the age of 24. We're even and back to being pals.
Maibock - After a day of drinking, this beer is a standout. It's light and goes down easier than my liver wants it to. I also learned that Maibock means "May beer." Yeah, I know it's June, but I'm not complaining.
Gothic Ale - Very malty and bready. I can almost see the finish line.
Oatmeal Stout - At this point, I tell myself that oatmeal is good for me, so this is like having a healthy glass of oats and fiber. It's at this point that I learn how easily I can talk myself into anything.
IPX - This double IPA is a little on the sweet side and packs a 9% ABV.
Nuit de Folie - Fittingly, this is the last beer of our journey and it translates to "Night of Madness." And I can see why. It's 11% ABV is powerful and makes this taste more like barleywine than beer. A perfect capper to a perfect day.
As Asylum guy and I hop in a cab back to our hotel for a quick nap (aka, 14 hours of sleep) we look back on the awesomest day both of us have had in a while. Thank you, Philly for loving beer even more than we do.