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Science Reinforces Our Alcoholism!

Turns out beer is better than Gatorade. We always suspected as much.

After a tough, sweaty, highly erotic workout, how do you usually hydrate? Gatorade? Water? High-pressure paint stripper? Whatever your liquid of choice, it’s probably wrong! Because according to scientists at Granada University in Spain, beer is a better recovery agent than both water and Gatorade.

In the study, eggheads put students through enough exercise to raise their body temperature to 104 degrees. Half the students then got beer and the other half either water or Gatorade. The recovery of the students given beer? Two magical words: “slightly better.”

You hear that, alcoholics? Slightly better! Next time a family member tells you to “get your act together,” or “put on some pants, you’re scaring the children,” or “how many fingers am I holding up you walking disappointment?” you’ve got an ace up your barf-covered sleeve: your crippling addiction is actually healthy rehydration, and you’ve got science on your side! We knew today was going to be a good day.

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March Cover Girl Elisha Cuthbert