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Celebrities Versus Southwest Airlines

Over the last year or so America’s largest domestic airline has become known for three things: low fares, no baggage fees, and booting celebrities off their planes. You might say, “Why are you singling out Southwest? Gerard Depardieu urinated in the aisle of a City Jet plane!” Yes, yes, he did, and that is a perfectly acceptable reason for being removed from the cabin.

“What about Josh Duhamel? He was kicked off of US Airways!”

Yes he was, for refusing to turn off his phone, which is also pretty legit. We’re singling out Southwest because of the hilarious reasons they’ve been giving these celebs the boot. Read on and decide whether you can really blame these poor rich and famous people for avoiding commercial travel.

February 13, 2010

Offender: Kevin Smith; director and actor
Offense: Being too fat
Smith really kicked off the crusade for celebs against Southwest when he was escorted off a flight last year for being a ‘danger’ to other passengers because of his size. Sure, no one likes to get stuck next to the fatty, but that’s just one of the many things that makes flying such a miserable experience overall. What’s the danger? He’s going to eat you if your dinner gets delayed because of turbulence? He’s going to roll over and crush you if he falls asleep while the seatbelt sign is turned off? 

September 1, 2011

Offender: Billie Joe Armstrong; Green Day front man
Offense: Pants too baggy
There’s been a lot of hoopla about baggy, saggy pants: if they’re too low it’s indecency, they’re associated with criminal behavior, etc. Apparently baggy pants have become today’s culturally rattling equivalent to the zoot suit and offensive enough to get you kicked off a plane. According to a witness, when the flight attendant asked Armstrong to pull up his pants he responded with, “Don’t you have better things to worry about? I’m just trying to get to my f**cking seat.” What a rock star!

September 26, 2011

Offender: Leisha Hailey; L Word actress and real-life lesbian
Offense: Kissing her girlfriend
Accusing someone of homophobia is not taken lightly these days, and those are exactly the allegations brought against Southwest by Hailey and her girlfriend, who were reportedly kicked off the flight for just one kiss- a modest kiss! Apparently their actions were deemed unsuitable for the family-orientated airline. We ask: by who exactly? We were under the impression that hot girl make outs were one of the very pillars that our modern society was built on!