Girls want to date him. Guys want to be him. He always knows what to do, and what to say, at exactly the right time. He walks around like he owns the place, and with his success…maybe he does. So what does this guy have that you don’t? Killer confidence.
Believe it or not, confidence is NOT innate. Like most things in life, it is something you build over time until it appears instinctual. Here are a few things to remember to help you gain that success-creating confidence and become just as self-assured as that guy you’ve always envied:
You’ll fail before you succeed: No one gets it right the first time and that’s OK. When you look back at the major milestones in your life – your first job, your first girlfriend – they likely all took persistence before you got it right. No one bats 1.000. In fact, some of the best baseball players hit the ball only 30 out of 100 times. So learn to embrace minor setbacks, and use them to your advantage. Ever hear the phrase “never make the same mistake twice?” Make that your new mantra.
Free your mind: One of the main reasons why people don’t achieve their goals is because they make excuses that prevent them from trying. Spend less time figuring out why you shouldn’t do something and just do it. It’s vital to trust your instincts – they’re usually right.
Take risks: The most successful people are the ones who take a big leap when others run away. If you want a shot at getting the job or the girl, you’ll have to push yourself beyond what you think are your limits. Life’s too short to worry about what might happen. Ultimately, the people who take the biggest risks get the biggest rewards.
You’re only as great as you think you are: If you’re seeking success, it’s time to look and feel the part. You have to convince yourself of your potential before you can convince others. Dress the part. Pick out a scent that makes you feel unstoppable. Research done at the University of Liverpool found that men who wore a fragrance felt more confident and were, in turn, rated as more attractive by women who couldn't even smell them. That's right – the connection between projecting confidence and smelling great is a scientific fact.
Frequently described as “Boston’s Hitch,” Thomas Edwards is the founder and creator of the well-known consultancy and dating/relationship site TheProfessionalWingman.com.