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Hunter Gatherers

There are two kinds of campers. The do-ers and the whiners. Some guys like to sleep on the ground, some like to have an air mattress, a sleeping bag, and a tent floor in between themselves and said ground.  To each his own, I guess.  Either way, every fall, thousands of men, along with their counterparts, pack up their car and venture into the woods to go camping. Here’s the best of everything for the best (and neediest) of everyone.

Gimme Shelter: Although pricey, this tent fits three people.   Add in some ghost stories, a few beers, two old girlfriends from college--you do the math. $568.95, North Face, paragonsports.com.

Good Night’s Sleep: Whoever said sleeping alone was a bad thing? Stay warm and free of clingy cuddlers in this Marmot sleeping bag.  It’s waterproof so neither rain nor sleet can keep you from getting your Z’s.  $89, Marmot, marmot.com.  And don’t forget the sleeping bag for your best friend, Rover (or Spot, or whatever predictable dog name you’ve got).  $15, Coleman, coleman.com.

Sit Back: As much as we all like roughing it, let’s face it, camping is a vacation after all. You need somewhere to sit and chill.  And more importantly, there’s a place to put your drink.  $20, Coleman, coleman.com.

Stay Cool: And where from are you fetching these drinks? You’re wheeled cooler, of course. $55, Coleman, coleman.com.

Eat Up: Sometimes, the best part of camping is eating some hot food.  While real men just eat with their hands, let’s try and keep it civilized.  Plus, it comes with a spork.  $19.99, Light My Fire, REI.com.

Top Chef: You need something with which to cook that food you’re stuffing in your mouth. For more hardcore campers, it might seem impractical to bring an entire grill with you, but we’re directing this to the more leisurely folk.  While a fire is good for marshmallows and staying warm--for real eaters you need a grill.  Try the Road Trip Party Grill.  We like it for the name alone.  $45, Coleman, coleman.com.

Drink Up: I’m sure the majority of what you’re doing after dark is emptying beer cans, but by day it is wise to stay hydrated.  Take the ultimate combination hydration system/daypack on those hikes and fishing excursions and you’ll never go thirsty again. $85, Camelbak, moosejaw.com.

Keep it Clean: For the love of God, you may be in the wilderness, but no one wants to share a tent with a smelly-ass yeti. $4.99, Adventure Medical Kits, adventuremedicalkits.com.

Don’t Get Killed: Lions, Tigers and Bears. Well, Bears mostly.  There are lots of things that can happen if you’re not careful and you don’t want to get caught in a Michael Scott situation by tying your pant leg to your head cause you don’t know any better. This Survival Kit by Adventure Medical Kits includes a knife, collapsible 1-liter water bag and water purification tablets – and all of it fits into a waterproof pouch that goes right in your front pocket.  $80, Adventure Medical Kits, adventuremedicalkits.com.

For more awesome camping gear pick up the current issue of Maxim on newsstands now!