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Storm Bracer

Nothing worse than waking up on a workday, glancing out the window and seeing the downpour you're about to dive into. Fu-Huuuuck. Never fear brave worker, Big Brother Maxim is here to help you defeat the deluge! Whether you're dashing to a public people mover or that broke-ass Honda you still push, arm yourself with the strongest umbrella on the planet. The wizards at Davek built one tough, unbending, mutha. Don't believe us? Fine. Screw you! But check this, numbnuts: These rain warrior engineers have the stones to offer a lifetime guarantee on every umbrella. Oh, now you're paying attention. That's an ella-ella of a deal. Stay dry. $79-$99, davekny.com.