If laughter is the best medicine, these comedians are Dr. Kevorkian.
12. <b>Carlos Mencia</b>-
If this is what comedy is going to be like when Mexico takes over America, then we're voting for anyone who promises to put a 50-foot barbed-wire electric fence from Texas to California—and then another one around our TV.
11. <b>Christopher Titus</b>-
Chris found a way to make jokes about abusive fathers beating their children unfunny.
10. <b>Judy Tenuta</b>-
We think it's fair to call Judy Tenuta an organ grinder, not because of her acumen with an accordian, but for her ability to shred our insides with her shrill voice and pathetically schticky act.
9. <b>Kathy Griffin</b>-
Is she a gay dude? We're asking for serious.
8. <b>Gallagher/Gallagher II</b>-
Wait, is this Gallagher or Gallagher II? We can never tell those guys apart. Is Gallagher that shitty comedian who tries to "make a difference" with his free-love hippie bullshit jokes, only to realize that people just want to see him smash a watermelon with a hammer? Or is that Gallagher II?
7. <b>Paula Poundstone</b>-
Remember that time Paula Poundstone was busted for getting shitfaced and driving her kids to an ice cream parlor? That's by far the funniest thing she's ever done.
6. <b>Sandra Bernhard</b>-
You're not attractive, and that makes you angry. We understand. But why not use some of that unattractiveness to make you funny, too?
5. <b>Louie Anderson</b>-
Being fat is one thing, but being fat and pathetic is just sad. C'mon, Louie—if you're going to be a huge tub of shit, you need to embrace it. Choke down cheesecakes onstage. Do a bit on getting an erection while rubbing your own man boobs. Talk about how your shits are bigger than Gary Coleman. In other words, be a funny comedian.
4. <b>Yakov Smirnoff</b>-
We get it—life in Russia was difficult. You had to wait in line for everything (even toilet paper!). But you know what's worse than life in Russia? Having a schtick that only plays to 75-year-olds in Missouri who still think Communism is the enemy. What a cunt bag!
3. <b>Whoopi Goldberg</b>-
Soccer moms love Whoopi 'cause they think she's "edgy." Soccer dads are terrified of Whoopi 'cause they think she looks like the "Predator." We don't like her because we like "comedy."
2. <b>Margaret Cho</b>-
"Mothers are difficult! But my Asian mother is very difficult mother to have! She says things like, 'Me rikey flied lice.' She is a very Asian mother!"
We're not sure what we hate most about Sinbad. Is it the neon pants, the annoying dangly earring, the oversized Reeboks, or the fact that he doesn't drink? Oh, wait, now we know. It's the shitty jokes that he always tells. That's what we hate most about Sinbad.