The Whitest Kids U Know's Trevor Moore gets biblical on Maxim's 10 Questions interrogation.
Your new comedy album, Drunk Texts To Myself, is out March 26th. What’s the best drunk text you’ve ever sent yourself?
Every single one in the song the album’s named after is an actual drunk text I sent myself. That was the easiest one to write, because I just went through my text messages and picked one. Before text messages were big, I would just write down stuff. And then if I’d wake up in the middle of the night, I would write down an idea, then I’d look at it in the morning, and one morning I woke up and I had written “Pajama boy thinks he’s John Lennon.” It was underlined like 10 times and it had all of these check marks. I obviously, at that moment, thought this was the biggest idea in the world. And I have no idea what it was.
Some of these songs seem like they could get you in trouble - especially "Pope Rap." Do you ever worry about people’s reactions?
Not too much. If you feel a certain way, and you know you’re comfortable with what you say, and you have a reason to say it, and you can back up your statement, then it’s fine.
Is it true your parents were Christian rock musicians? What do they think of your stuff?
Yes - they don’t like it! They saw the pope rap and they didn’t like it. It was an awkward Christmas. They’re supportive, but they don’t like the stuff that I do. My dad has gone around behind me and flagged my YouTube videos before and reported them. And then he’s told me, “Yeah, you know, I flagged your video, somebody had to do it.” And I was like, “Not really…”
That’s got to be a lot tougher than just random people on Twitter yelling at you.
Yeah, it makes Thanksgiving and Christmas harder. But I wrote "Pope Rap" because I visited the Vatican last year, and listening to the guides talk about the history of the Vatican church, and you’re just sitting around looking at all this gold. Then they have these little shops set up right before you get into the Sistine Chapel, so that’s how I wrote that one.
Are you guys still writing a Whitest Kids U' Know movie?
Yes! We’re working on it - we’re almost done with the script. We’ve been working on it for over a year, but we would start and then just be like, no, we don’t like this idea. We’d trash it and then come back to it, then we came up with the one we like, and then it moved really fast. It’s a linear movie, but it’s a little early for me to tell you what the plot is…
What was the last thing you had to apologize for?
My wife told me not to walk the dogs without their leashes, and I was like, whatever, let the dogs be dogs, and we went out and the three of us got skunked - one of them took off after a skunk and I ran after it and it sprayed all of us. That was last Wednesday.
Do you still smell of skunk?
I don’t, but my house is just now losing the smell. It happened at one in the morning, so I had to do the whole tomato bath thing on the dogs, and then I was shooting something in the morning, so I had to show up and I was all paranoid all day. I was asking everybody, “Do I smell like skunk?” and they were like, “No, no, I don’t really smell it.” But they were just being nice.
What’s your favorite curse word?
I like the term shit bird. It’s just somebody that’s sort of scummy, kind of like a skeezy person. You know, like, "That person’s a real shit bird."
What’s the worst hangover you’ve ever had?
God, there’s been so many. One time I was hanging out at a beach house with a whole bunch of people and they had a Labor Day thing where everybody’s drinking. I found that they had that iced tea vodka and lemonade flavored vodka, too, so I was like, “Oh, you can make iced tea and lemonade and drink those all day.” I wasn’t thinking, I thought it was vodka with lemonade and with iced tea. But it’s really just vodka that’s flavored, so I was actually just drinking vodkas all day in huge glasses. I was drinking and drinking and not even close to realizing - it wasn’t until the end of the night that somebody was like, “You know you’re just mixing vodka with vodka?” At that point I’d been pretty far gone and started calling my parents and grandparents like, “Hey!” just being chatty. That was pretty rough the next morning.
What was your first car?
I had a 1990 Ford Escort. I ruined it because I was shooting something in high school - I wanted to do this bit where I was jumping from my car to the road, but to do that, I was going to jump on a deer to get to the road, so I called the Virginia Department of Transportation and told them, “Hey, next time someone hits a deer, like road kill, let me know, I’ll come pick it up and I’ll use it.” They did that, and I transported this deer in my Escort and put it in the basement. But then we didn’t shoot for five days and it was summer, so the thing bloated, and it was all swollen. When we went to shoot, I stood on the roof of my car and dented that, then jumped on the deer, and then the deer kind of all pushed to one end like a balloon and it just smelled horrible. So my car was just ruined - I caved in the roof of it, and then it smelled like deer guts.
Do you have a scar that tells a story?
Yeah, I have a scar on my arm that I got in 2009, because I was driving around with a bunch of friends and I was drunk - most everybody was drunk except the driver. We were driving around LA, and there was a bike helmet in the back seat of the car. So I put on the bike helmet and said, “Don’t slow down when you go past my apartment, I’m just going to jump out of the car.” And they were like, “You can’t do that.” And I said, “No, just go down to 20 miles per hour, that’s not going to hurt me.” Because I thought 20 miles per hour would be fine. Then I just leaped out of the car and did a really hard roll on concrete. It was a horrible idea - I knew it before I hit the ground, too. As soon as I hit the air and realized what 20 miles per hour feels like. It’s not as slow as it was in my head…
Do you have a party trick?
I can drink a whole lot real fast.
What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
I kind of have a germ thing, so I’m pretty good about not putting things in my mouth.
What’s the one thing to remember in a fist fight?
Don’t cry. That’s crucial in a fist fight, because even if you win and you get some good punches in, if you start crying it’s not cool, and you didn’t really win. You can get your ass kicked and not cry, but if the guy who kicked your ass starts crying, you still won.
Who was the last person to see you naked?
Probably my wife. Or my cat! That’s not a person, but my cat is a pervert, he hangs out in the bathroom all the time. My cat likes to watch people go to the bathroom. You try to shoo it out, but it’ll just come back in. It just stares and makes eye contact, it’s weird.
Does it prefer number one or number two?
Well, with number two it gets to watch longer. It gets more of a show.
Finish this sentence: If I ruled the world for a day, I would…
I would get rid of all the sharks, get rid of all the bees, and I would make it that babies have to go on a completely different airline than everybody else.
Why bees and sharks?
They’re just bad animals.
You don’t like honey?
That’s true, I guess you kind of need bees. Sharks we don’t need, because with sharks, everyone’s like, “Oh, you’ll mess up the food chain.” But sharks eat the same fish we eat, and we’re always worried about overfishing places, so if you just get rid of the sharks then there’s more of those fish for us!