The sights, the sounds, the babes. The annual Geek Woodstock was a thing of beauty.
Comic Con is great, if you don’t mind sore feet, long lines and paying $18 for a bottle of warm soda. Still, we can’t wait to go back next year. In case you spent the weekend at home or robbing Guillermo Del Toro’s house (He wasn’t home Saturday because he was at the show. Remember this tip for next year, burglars), here are the 100 things you missed and we witnessed at Comic Con this year.
1. Kitana (a.k.a. Hometown Hotties finalist Aja Dang).
2. Silver Surfer, wielding the bulge cosmic.
3. Hairy Hobbit Lego feet.
4 Action Comics #1 for $550k under very light security. Or so we thought. Watch Aja chat with Metropolis Comics’ Vincent Zurzolo about things we can never afford!
5. Braveheart-like guy waiting for his girlfriend in the bathroom. He’s even watching her bag. Just like when he’s dragged to the mall and she browses the racks at Wet Seal.
6. Cute Asian booth babe flashing the peace symbol without irony. (Pay no attention to the child with a painted-on goatee behind her.)
7. This sign in the men’s room. (Perhaps it was meant only for Tony Stark.)
Including one in full, panty-line-free Batgirl regalia.
9. Chef Vader with Jar-Jar Binks’ head on a platter.
10. Our favorite Captain America ever. Watch his epic, patriotic interview here!
11. Empty commuter trains that held up foot traffic for 20 minutes every time you wanted to leave the convention center via the one passage that exists between it and the rest of San Diego.
12. They Live aliens!
13. Lou Ferrigno changing out one hundred dollar bills at his own signing. To be fair to the original Hulk, who turns 61 in November, was the hardest working guy at the show. We walked passed the Denver-based Mile High Comics booth multiple times each day and he was the first guy in and the last guy out.
15. Michael Jackson hanging with Buddy Holly.
16. Very few power outlets.
17. The Ark of the Covenant in a virtual snake pit. (It was promoting the long awaited Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures Blu-ray release available on September 18th!)
18. What the hell is this pile of junky crap? How can this become anything? Moving on.
19. HOLY SHIT!!! We stand corrected.
20. Motorcycle from the G.I. Joe Retaliation movie that won’t be out before the next model year of motorcycles.
21. Three-foot-tall Galactus, from Sideshow Collectibles.
22. People willing to kill and eat their mother for a t-shirt at the Iron Man 3 booth.
23. Sad freaked-out green guy.
24. No fucking parking spaces.
25. Ghostbusters with what look to be working proton packs.
Check out the next page to see Grayskulls, pink skulls, and magnetic vaginas...
26. ABC TV show called The Neighbors, which will probably be canceled before we finish writing this sent...
27. Dude with steampunk eye thingee in front of the Shrine booth. Did he work there? Don’t know. Didn’t ask.
28. An Outrageous Fortune poster. For those not Fortune-fanatics, it’s an ‘80s movie starring Bette Midler and Shelly Long. For those who don’t know who Midler and Long were, ask your gay uncles.
29. The scale entrance to Castle Grayskull.
30. This pink monkey hat
31. Baby stroller, even though we received a special announcement that strollers weren’t allowed. (And we could have used one after day three.)
32. Another baby stroller.
33. Total Recall car.
34. Female Batman villains Catwoman, Poison Ivy (in prison fatigues) and Harley Quinn.
35. Creepy cute Voodoo toys.
36. Sexy Silk Spectre from Watchmen.
37. Cyanide and Happiness drawing together.
38. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man taking over the lobby
39. Pussy magnets.
40. A huge, puffy Jon Cena. (OK, it was a stuffed animal. We’d called it a stuffed wrestler but that’s a totally different thing.)
41. Rascal scooters of questionable need.
42. Dr. Doom taking a stroll through the streets
43. Poop sign.
44. 50-percent off trade paperbacks.
45. Vampire girl biting Aja’s neck. Check out the video here!
46. Sam Goody is still in fucking business. No way!
48. Father/son Punishers.
49. Ninja Turtles posing with Master Chief.
50. Hefty Spidey. (Hey, we can’t do much better in that costume, so don’t hate.)
Halfway there! See some impressive G.I. Joes, brass bras and more nerdy wonderment on Page 3!
51. G.I. Joe crew in the most impressive costumes ever. If the sequel hung on these guys, maybe it wouldn’t be delayed till March, 2013 #GIJokes
52. Kitty covered in chalk graffiti.
53. This beautiful punk rock chick. (We have a thing for wild tattooed girls in glasses... we also have a thing for all girls everywhere.)
54. Lego Hulk
55. Marvel Xbox Kinect game Avengers: Battle for Earth. Watch Aja playing it here!
56. Frankenweenie (Coming out on October 5th)
57. Sexy Storm with painful looking cloudy contact lenses.
58. Bonka Zonks, whatever the fuck they are.
60. Sixteen pounds of footwear on one Mega Man costume. Did we mention Aja knocked on his cod-piece? Did we also mention he’s a pastor? Watch the uncomfortable video here!
61. Baby crying in men's room and screaming “It's scary!” while getting his diaper changed.
62. Dark Helmet, from Spaceballs.
63. Shia LaBeouf (no photo needed or wanted)
64. A buff Teela sporting a brass bra.
65. Asshole convention gestapo instructing us not to sit along the wall.
66. Scores of people sitting along the wall.
67. Carl Fredricksen from Up.
68. Lots of fake mustaches.
69. No idea what this T-shirt means. Don’t care either. (OK, it’s an H.P. Lovecraft reference...but don’t tell anyone we knew that.)
70. Little girl as Nyan Cat.
71. Gizmo backpack.
72. T-shirt that made us hungry.
73. Stuffed organs that made us hungrier.
74. Traci of Disciplined Monkey Studios in a pink Power Ranger getup. She said she had a costume for each day. We never saw her again. Call us!
75. Sean Astin (a.k.a. Rudy, a.k.a. Samwise. a.k.a. Goonie).
Continue to Page Four and find a sexy green woman, a sexy Thor woman and a sexy Chewie woman...
76. A guy flipping a sign promoting sign flipping.
77. Green Starcraft hottie.
78. Meat Bun.
79. Lots of people asking if they're "stamping." Sounded kinky.
80. Sparkly Beetle Guy named Frederick.
81. South Park Elementary
82. Convention staff in yellow shirts: Good. Convention staff in blue shirts: Absolute dickholes.
83. Thor-ess. (Female Thor.)
84. This pink creature on a bag.
85. Next to this sexy creature on a bag.
86. Sexy Chewbacca and Sonya Blade.
87. Super Grammar comics guaranteed to be worshipped by every annoying commenter on the Internet.
88. Iron Man, disassembled.
89. Recording booth for fan fiction.
90. "Each character is a different emotion" --Emotes!
91. Halo Kitty
92. Old school Punchout! arcade game starring someone called Abobo.
93. Emily the Strange. Plus, an attractive woman working the booth who gave us a suspicious look. It’s high school all over again!
94. Mushroom guy with fake legs and a huge flower umbrella loitering creepily amid the more child-oriented booths.
95. Man carefully showing a LOTR mask. Overheard: “No, you can’t put it on.” As the discussion progressed, he assured him that it can be worn. He just can’t be allowing every sweaty dude grossing up his sweet helmet-mask thing.
96. Donnie Darko giant bunny (a.k.a. The biggest goddamn bunny costume in the world)
97. Laziest Master Chief Costume ever. Really, guy? We saw scores of people who took the time to piece together full body armor. Comic Con is the big time, n00b, so you best step yo game up next year!
98. Not-green-enough-to-cover-his-back-tattoo Hulk.
99. This Tokidoki cat telling us to leave. That’s what “adios” means, right?
100. Purposefully blurry, fat, male Slave Leia. (Seriously, we took a clearer photo, but we’re not using it.)
Sorry, we can’t end this epic Comic Con 100 list like that.