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5 Superheroes Who Hate Christmas (And The 5 Reasons Why)

Sucks to be Batman, Thor, or Optimus Prime during the holidays.

Optimus Prime


Paramount/ Everett Collection| Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


- For two whole months, the only thing that comes through on his radio is Christmas music.

- He has to let himself warm up for 10 minutes before he can transform.

- He wakes up every morning to find vagrants sleeping in his trailer.

- He’s received nothing but windscreen washer fluid for the last 20 Christmases.

- People always ask him if he's the new Hess truck.

 

 

Iceman


Photo Courtesy of 20th Century Fox


- People seem way less impressed by his superpowers at a time of year when everything’s already frozen.

- Everywhere he goes, people start singing “Frosty The Snowman.”

- The last person that girls are snuggling up to at a chilly Christmas party is the guy made entirely of ice.

- The other X-Men make him eat Christmas dinner by himself ever since the time he sneezed during the meal and flash-froze the turkey.

- Every single year, Wolverine buys him a can of De-Icer as a “hilarious” joke gift.

 

 

Human Torch


20th Century Fox/ Everett Collection| Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


- It’s really hard to wrap gifts when the paper keeps bursting into flame.

- He has to spend every Christmas with his brother-in-law, who is also his boss.

- He’s literally the worst person in the whole world at snowball fights.

- It’s tough to know what to buy your colleague for Christmas when he’s a giant pile of orange rocks.

- The last thing any man wants to wear after eating Christmas dinner is a sky blue, Spandex onesie.

 

 

Thor


Walt Disney/ Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


- Most of his family get-togethers end with them all trying to murder each other.

- Asgard hasn’t invented online shopping yet.

- It’s really hard to remember how to spell Jotunheim, Svartalfheim, and Nidavellir when addressing Christmas cards.

- Whenever he sees an elf, he automatically starts trying to kill it.

- It is literally impossible to buy a surprise gift for Heimdall.

 

 

Batman


Warner Bros./ Everett Collection| Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


- No one ever knows what to buy a man who already owns a boat, a plane, a helicopter, a motorbike, a submarine, several cars, and a space station.

- All Robin does is bitch about how his costume makes him look like one of Santa’s little helpers.

- For Batman, a white Christmas just means Mr. Freeze has held the city for ransom for the eighteenth time.

- If he gives his sole employee the day off, he’s spending Christmas by himself.

- It’s impossible for Santa to visit a man who booby-traps every entrance to his mansion with napalm.

 

 

Check out Arkham Origins Made Us Realize That Batman Is Actually Santa, or Interview: Stan Lee

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