Lego recently unveiled its new Batman Lego set, Arkham Asylum Breakout. Clocking in at 1,351 pieces, and featuring eight different figures, as well as fan-head-exploding details like themed cells for some of the inmates (a special frozen tower room for Mister Freeze!), it’s a perfect storm of geeky wonder. But it got us thinking – if Lego are willing to make a set of the most infamously unpleasant place in all of comics (it’s a prison for homicidal maniacs, serial killers, sadists and more serial killers, people – not exactly easy stuff to explain to the kids), maybe they’d make us some play sets of the following comic book unpleasantness?
The story:
Young Jason Todd, the second Robin, gets his head brutally beaten in with a crowbar, courtesy of the Joker, before being blown up alongside his own mom.
The play set:
Scale replica of the doomed Ethiopian warehouse, right down to the Joker’s message for Bats to meet him at the United Nations, written in Robin’s own blood!
Packaged with:
- adorable blood-covered Joker with crowbar accessory
- crippled Robin with detachable arms and legs
- charred mom corpse figure
- limited edition “weeping Batman” figure
The story:
Superpowered serial killer Carnage hooks up with a truly D-list entourage and goes on a rampage through New York, killing literally hundreds of innocent civilians.
The play set:
A generic New York city block, conspicuously absent of any kind of law enforcement or emergency services of any kind, despite the massacre taking place.
Packaged with:
- goopy-effect Carnage with removable spikes
- Shriek, Carrion, Demogoblin, Doppelganger and, really, whoever you want to make up and throw in there – no one had ever heard of any of these guys before anyway
- soul-searching Spider-Man figure with unique “anguished moral dilemma” pose
The story:
Sue Dibny – wife of (sigh) The Elongated Man - gets sexually assaulted by Doctor Light in the middle of the Watchtower control room. The Justice League covers it up.
The play set:
The classic-look JLA satellite HQ, complete with teleportation booths, monitor station, science lab, battle workout gym and special supervillain rape area.
Packaged with:
- Doctor Light figure with a choice of two heads: “Evil” head and “Just Been Given A Magic Lobotomy” head.
- “Confused, forgetful Batman” figure
- Sue Dibny with “Oh well, at least I didn’t get burned to death or anything” expression
The story:
Animal Man discovers he’s not a real person, and is in fact just a character being written by Grant Morrison. The two spend a whole issue chatting in his den.
The play set:
Finely-detailed diorama of a Scottish comic book writer’s 80s apartment. Some outside detail of a dirty canal in the dark and rain, because it’s quicker to draw.
Packaged with:
- Small fox figure with flashlight accessory
- Animal Man figure with baggie of peyote
- Sad Grant Morrison figure with sick cat accessory