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Four Inappropriate Superhero Lego Sets We Wish They'd Make

Lego recently unveiled its new Batman Lego set, Arkham Asylum Breakout. Clocking in at 1,351 pieces, and featuring eight different figures, as well as fan-head-exploding details like themed cells for some of the inmates (a special frozen tower room for Mister Freeze!), it’s a perfect storm of geeky wonder. But it got us thinking – if Lego are willing to make a set of the most infamously unpleasant place in all of comics (it’s a prison for homicidal maniacs, serial killers, sadists and more serial killers, people – not exactly easy stuff to explain to the kids), maybe they’d make us some play sets of the following comic book unpleasantness?

 

 

A Death In The Family

The story:

Young Jason Todd, the second Robin, gets his head brutally beaten in with a crowbar, courtesy of the Joker, before being blown up alongside his own mom.

The play set:

Scale replica of the doomed Ethiopian warehouse, right down to the Joker’s message for Bats to meet him at the United Nations, written in Robin’s own blood!

Packaged with:

- adorable blood-covered Joker with crowbar accessory

- crippled Robin with detachable arms and legs

- charred mom corpse figure

- limited edition “weeping Batman” figure

 

Maximum Carnage

The story:

Superpowered serial killer Carnage hooks up with a truly D-list entourage and goes on a rampage through New York, killing literally hundreds of innocent civilians.

The play set:

A generic New York city block, conspicuously absent of any kind of law enforcement or emergency services of any kind, despite the massacre taking place.

Packaged with:

- goopy-effect Carnage with removable spikes

- Shriek, Carrion, Demogoblin, Doppelganger and, really, whoever you want to make up and throw in there – no one had ever heard of any of these guys before anyway

- soul-searching Spider-Man figure with unique “anguished moral dilemma” pose

 

Identity Crisis

The story:

Sue Dibny – wife of (sigh) The Elongated Man - gets sexually assaulted by Doctor Light in the middle of the Watchtower control room. The Justice League covers it up.

The play set:

The classic-look JLA satellite HQ, complete with teleportation booths, monitor station, science lab, battle workout gym and special supervillain rape area.

Packaged with:

- Doctor Light figure with a choice of two heads: “Evil” head and “Just Been Given A Magic Lobotomy” head.

- “Confused, forgetful Batman” figure

- Sue Dibny with “Oh well, at least I didn’t get burned to death or anything” expression

 

Deus Ex Machina

The story:

Animal Man discovers he’s not a real person, and is in fact just a character being written by Grant Morrison. The two spend a whole issue chatting in his den.

The play set:

Finely-detailed diorama of a Scottish comic book writer’s 80s apartment. Some outside detail of a dirty canal in the dark and rain, because it’s quicker to draw.

Packaged with:

- Small fox figure with flashlight accessory

- Animal Man figure with baggie of peyote

- Sad Grant Morrison figure with sick cat accessory

 

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