Today, The Wolverine will prove the hero’s badassness once again. But his 40-year history in comics hasn’t been without shame. Here, the hairy X-Man’s most mortifying moments.
Photo Courtesy of Ben Rothstein / Twentieth Century Fox
1. Careless Whiskers
Wolverine’s entrance came in The Incredible Hulk (Vol. 1) #181, wearing a face mask with whiskers, like an adorable widdle kitty. The costume couldn’t have been less intimidating unless it came with a squeaky toy.
2. Highly Illogical
When the X-Men faced off with the Star Trek crew in Star Trek/X-Men, Wolverine tried to pummel Spock, who thoroughly owned him by Vulcan-nerve-pinching his ass into submission. Live long and STFU, Wolvie.
3. Centenarian Creeper
In Ultimate Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #66 and #67, Wolverine and Peter Parker pull a Freaky Friday and swap bodies. Old Man Wolverine (as Peter) is forced to go to high school, hang out with pimply teens, and try to bang 15-year-old MaryJane Watson. Do age of consent laws apply to immortals?
4. Mr. Castrato
In The Punisher (Vol. 3) #17, Punisher shoots off Wolverine’s face and balls, then flattens him with a steamroller. His wiener grows back, which makes his mutant healing factor the ultimate form of Viagra.
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