Tie-dye and tiger stripes make our uni hall of shame.
Tonight the Golden State Warriors will debut the sleeved uniform that Adidas says will “change the way players look on the court […] forever.” The announcement has been met with mixed reviews, especially since Adidas upped the ante with mismatched pinstriped pants. While the debate rages tonight, here are some jerseys that we’ve already closed the book on.
Vancouver Canucks “Flying V”
In 1979, the Vancouver Canucks wasted good money on a San Francisco design agency to tell them they should adapt this uniform, whose color scheme and design was considered “dated” a record three hours later. In case the yellow doesn’t do it for you, the jersey also came in a beautiful shade of brown that could only be described as “doo-doo.”
Denver Broncos Throwbacks
(Photo by Donald Miralle/Getty)
If you are looking for something else in a doo-doo brown, the Broncos throwbacks remind us less of a bygone time and more of a bag of peanut M&M’s.
Hull City, 1992-1993 Kit
When you call yourself the Tigers, do it in faith that your fan base will take the name in their heads and summon the image of a ferocious tiger. Don’t try to make us think that the players on the field are actually tigers, because it will fail. Hilariously.
Maryland’s 2011 Football Uniforms
(Photo by G Fiume/Getty)
We’re not saying that these are terrible jerseys. Wait, is your name Harvey Dent? No? Then we are saying these are terrible jerseys.
Mexico’s 1994 Goalkeeper Kit
(Photo by Bongarts / Getty)
This wacky pile of Crayola vomit is Jorge Campos. We would feel sorry for the guy, but these kits were designed by him. Yes, he did that to himself.
Padres Camo Jerseys
(Photo by Andy Hayt/Getty)
We’re all about supporting our heroes in the military, but we do it within the bounds of taste. A band or a patch would just be far more effective than outfitting yourself from head to toe in camo. We don’t celebrate Labor Day by dressing up as steel workers. Reel it in, San Diego; you’re pretty much part of Mexico anyway.
Raptors 1995-1998 Jersey
Really, Canada? We give you a basketball team and this is what you do with it? It looks like this Raptor should have a 1990’s cartoon show where he was the leader of a crew of tank-driving dinosaurs who fight evil saber-tooth tigers.
Lithuanian 1992 Olympic Team Warmups
The story of the 1992 Lithuanian team is truly amazing, but what else can you say when you see these warm-ups besides, “What, are these guys sponsored by the Grateful Dead?” Also, these guys were actually sponsored by the Grateful Dead.
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