Did The Warriors Owner Bang the NBA Championship Trophy?

He seems to be implying as much.
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He seems to be implying as much.
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Sex with a trophy? How would someone even do that?

Only Joe Lacob knows. The owner of the Golden State Warriors recently told Haute Living magazine that he and his fiancé "slept with" with the Larry O'Brein trophy after the Dubs won the title in June. What exactly did they do?

“I’ll leave it to the imagination,” he said. “We had a lot of fun with it.”

OK then, if have wants to leave it to the imagination, we'll imagine. Here's the trophy as the Warriors held it aloft after winning the title.

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As you can see, there are no holes in that trophy. As you can also see, people love to rub on it. It's sexually magnetic.

Given the trophy's lack of orifices, we can assume Lacob didn't put anything in it. Lacob and his fiancé, on the other hand, have orifices aplenty. Given the trophy's phallic shape, that seems worth noting. Just look at that long, tapered shaft and giant round head.

OK, now we're getting somewhere. Lacob has the orifices, the trophy is the phallus and it stands to reason then that the trophy was doing the penetrating in this sordid threesome. As for what it was penetrating, we'll leave that to your imagination.

Photos by Noah Graham / Getty Images