But breathe easy. The trailer is broken down frame-by-frame, and then sped up, on purpose. Clearly, 20th Century Fox was trolling teaser trailer mania, in which fans break down trailers shot-by-shot and wildly speculate over every detail.
If the 15-second teaser for Kingsman: The Golden Circle asks we do that, then fine. Here it goes...
Eggsy, played by Welsh newcomer Taron Egerton, is back, and he has learned some new tricks.
There's a hot strip scene.
When did Channing Tatum and Halle Berry get here?
The sequel partially takes place in America whereas the first was in England. This cowboy tipped us off.
In addition to the British espionage vibe of the original, the sequel will incorporate Western elements.
There will be more action.
Julianne Moore plays a villain.
Julianne Moore holds a sinister-looking (poisoned?) hamburger.
There's a bad guy with a mechanical arm.
Okay, so we still know next to nothing, apart from some minute details. Luckily, 20th Century Fox provided the following synopsis.
Kingsman: The Secret Service introduced the world to Kingsman - an independent, international intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion, whose ultimate goal is to keep the world safe. In Kingsman: The Golden Circle, our heroes face a new challenge. When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, their journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US called Statesman, dating back to the day they were both founded. In a new adventure that tests their agents' strength and wits to the limit, these two elite secret organizations band together to defeat a ruthless common enemy, in order to save the world, something that's becoming a bit of a habit for Eggsy...
Kingsman: The Golden Circle hits theaters on Sept. 29. Let us hope a more orthodox trailer is released before then.