Trailer Breakdown Cowboys and Aliens

Jon Favreau’s latest action adventure finally has a trailer, and we’re now closer to answering the most hotly argued match-up since pirates vs. ninjas.

Jon Favreau, clearly looking to up the ante after two spectacular Iron Man movies, is hitting the comic books once again. This time, he’s taking on an under-the-radar comic called Cowboys and Aliens which means that, as the awesome title suggests, we’re finally going to see a showdown between hi-tech E.T.s and ornery cowpokes. Pulling together a stellar cast and loading up on jaw-dropping action has worked for Favreau before, so we’re already in the saddle for this one.

SHOT 1

The old west. Hey! That’s where cowboys live!

SHOT 2

Who is that mysterious man lying down in the middle of the desert? James f-ing Bond. 

SHOT 3

Alien technology? Or a SCRAM bracelet? Only Lindsay knows for sure. 

SHOT 4

The posse has come for Bond. Either that, or Velvet Revolver is touring. 

SHOT 5

Bond steals a knife and then STABS A DUDE IN THE JUNK. And we haven’t even gotten to the aliens yet!

SHOT 6

Bond heads to a saloon, where things begin looking up in the form of Maximcovergirl Olivia Wilde. We love westerns, because they make the women look like Olivia or Megan Fox and not, you know, how they really looked. Which is like this

SHOT 7

More shady types looking to arrest Bond. Easter Egg! The main guy’s mustache is actually played by Sam Elliot. 

SHOT 8

Whu-oh. Looks like Bond is wanted (WAAAAANTEEEED) dead or alive. 

SHOT 9

Ho-ly crap. Ladies and gentlemen, Indiana Jones is in the hizzy. Need we remind you we haven’t even gotten to the friggin’ aliens yet? Pants, crapped. 

SHOT 10

Finally, some aliens! Indy’s posse was about to bust out James Bond when E.T.s show up. Will they be kindly do-gooders or pissed-off invaders?

SHOT 11

Yeah. Heavy on the “invaders,” apparently. 

SHOT 12

More Olivia. Just because. You have absolutely no problem with that. Plus, she appears to be naked in this scene and surrounded by Indians. Someone has been reading our dream diary.

SHOT 13

Aliens are attacking, and Indy thinks he can go all “Arabian swordsman” on them. Why?Because “Harrison Ford,” that’s why.

SHOT 14

Luckily, 007 is packing something with a little more “uuumph.” But then again, what else did you expect from 007? His hat is also a submarine.

SHOT 15

“I am Cowboy Iron Man”

Cowboys and Aliens opens on Can’t Get Here Fast Enough at Holy Crap is This Out Yet? (also known as July 29, 2011)

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