We asked a clueless foreigner to fill out a bracket and explain his decisions. We wish we hadn't.
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We're committed to only bringing you the best here at Maxim, which is why we took all of our greatest basketball minds, put them together, and then dosed them with a outrageous amount of peyote and locked them on the roof. Then we had our resident clueless British guy fill out a bracket, with his reasons below. Happy picking!
Round 2 -
"This team's name is "Round 1 Winner"? I think that gives them an edge."
"Colorado Street? They don't stand a chance against an entire state."
"Valparaiso sounds like the name of a vampire, which has got to be an advantage if they're playing at night."
"The winner of Marquette and Davidson will play Butler? That's good, because Marquette and Davidson both sound like names butlers would have."
"I'm going with Iowa St. because Americans can't pronounce Notre Dame."
"Pacific? Like the entire ocean? Is that Aquaman's team?"
Round 3 -
"Iowa against Ohio - both terrible Scrabble scores, but I'll give it to Iowa, since they have the W."
"Indiana (Jones) vs. Temple (of Doom)? That's easy, Indy won and saved those children with ease."
Round 4 -
"Villanova sounds like a the power of an exploding sun combined with the mind of a genius supervillain. So, they win"
"People from Kansas have a history of beating witches, so Wichita St. should be no problem."
Round 5 -
"It was a close one, but Saint Louis just barely defeated Count Valparaiso with his holy dribble."
"Indiana Jones punches out an Austrian butler in Last Crusade, so beating Butler should be no problem."
Final Four -
"Indiana Jones obviously defeats the villain. This is easy."
"Indiana Jones would probably go on a search for the tomb of Saint Louis and his enchanted finger. He would eventually raid the tomb, which can be construed as winning. Indiana Jones is the champion! American sports are fun!"
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