Play this on February 26 and it’ll win the award for best supporting role in your hangover.
Every time Billy Crystal has to hold his face in an exaggerated expression at the end of a joke to alert people it’s time to laugh: Drink.
Every time there’s a shot of Jack Nicholson grinning even though he has no idea what was just said: Drink.
Whenever an accep-tance speech refers to how “brave” a studio, director, or performance is: Take a sip, then gag on it.
Whenever a winner starts shouting over the “get off the damn stage” music: Shotgun a beer.
During the RIP reel, anytime a cadaver doesn’t get any applause: Drink.
Whenever some-body accidentally outs a happily married colleague: Finish drink.
Whenever two people who aren’t used to TelePrompTers awkwardly read a horrible joke: Ignore. (If you drink every time this happens, you will die. Even if you are only drinking water.)
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