Spielberg’s Soft Opening Goes Poorly in the Jurassic World Trailer

They spared no expense.
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They spared no expense.
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The trailer for Jurassic World, the latest installment of Spielberg’s series and there are ripples in our glass of water. This thing is gonna be big.

With Spielberg at the helm (okay, near it—he’s executive producer) movie-goers should feel confident that this humongous, blockbuster eating blockbuster ($150 million budget, rampaging evil dinosaur crossbreeds, June release date) is ready to go head to head with whatever Marvel is cooking up. Here’s a prediction: It’ll be exciting and visually thrilling but ultimately drawing its oomph from a small-scope, human story. No one out-Spielbergs Spielberg.

The trailer hints at that, opening with a suburban-chic Judy Greer (she’ll always be Kitty to us) kneeling to talk to her mop-headed middle schooler: “If anything chases you, run.” It’s silly and prophetic, a genre double-whammy. Cut to… a looming mountainous island with hundred-foot gates. Via ferry, train, and truck, our wee protagonist makes his way to the heart of the island.*

Things look good and, in our favorite clip, a Great White shark is trussed and lowered over a pool (a hint that Jurassic is an order of magnitude above Jaws? A call-back?) to where a glistening, monstrous dinosaur can breach and, like a depressed Orca, grab it in his massive jaws.

But all is not well. A beautiful scientist announces she created a new kind of dinosaur and that she’s not totally sure where she it might be. Sounds like an anti-science metaphor, the backbone of anything Crichton or Crichton-inspired. Chris Pratt is dispatched to find the creature but all that’s left is a series of grooves in a forty-foot cement enclosure.

You’re gonna need a bigger wall.

*A note about the transportation: It is basic. The futuristic ferry looks like the East River Ferry with hives, the Jurassic World safari vehicle is a 1983 Volvo C202 (yes, we checked), and the monorail zooms by in a cloud of pixels with sound effects stolen from the Hunger Games. The CGI budget clearly went elsewhere.