5 Things We Learned From The 2013 NFL Week 11

Matt Schaub doesn’t get home field advantage, NFL refs are bullies, and you don’t stop selling beer at Soldier Field, no matter what.

Photo: Nhat V. Meyer/ Landov | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Matt Schaub Had To Use A Silent Count…At Home

Texan fans were booing starter turned backup (turned starter?) Matt Schaub so hard, the team had to use a silent count to snap the ball. Whether they hate Schaub, the team, or just themselves, the Texan “faithful” are so fed up with the continuing failure (the Texans are 2-8) that they’re willing to inflict possible false start penalties due to crowd noise on their own team. But at least the Texan players are still excited to be on the team. When asked if he’s happy playing for the Texans, star receiver Andre Johnson replied, “I’m under contract.” A thrilling vote of confidence!

NFL Refs Allegedly Called Trent Williams “Fat Ass Garbage”

After a loss that probably ended the Redskins’ season, offensive lineman Trent Williams exploded in the locker room, claiming the refs called him an “unprofessional, garbage ass motherfucker” in addition to “fat ass.” Many offensive linemen have microphones in their helmets to receive blocking calls from the sideline, so it’s possible that whatever insults were thrown Williams’ way were picked up, which could be the most hilarious possible wikileak reveal ever…if someone on the Redskins staff were so inclined.  

The 49ers Might, Uh, Suck?

They’re 28th in total offense, 24th in team defense, and Colin Kaepernick is last in QB rating in the 4th quarter. The rest of the 49ers’ schedule is easy-ish, and their record of 6-4 puts them in second place in a tough division, but as far as a repeat Super Bowl appearance? It seems unlikely. Though to be fair to the team, their coach is very, very busy starring in soda commercials at the moment.

Don’t Stop Serving Beer in Chicago…

Or a Ravens fan might run on your field. Because of tornado, lightning, and Cthulhu monster warnings in Chicago, the game between the Bears and Ravens was delayed for nearly two hours. In that time, fans were asked to leave their seats for the safety of the indoor concourse…where what else is there to do besides drink beer? Lots and lots of beer. So much beer, that security was afraid the thousands of drunken bratwurst gobblers trapped indoors might start to pose an angry problem – though it seems halting service wasn’t such a great idea either. “What a classic Faustian bargain!” the security guards likely said to each other in poetic asides.  

Are KC And Denver Really That Good?

Maybe not.  

Check out 5 Things We Learned From The 2013 NFL: Week 10 and don’t forget to vote for your 2014 Hometown Hottie!