Pirates Win First Playoff Game Since Miley Cyrus Was Born

And, perhaps appropriately, they did come in like a wrecking ball.

(Photo: Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)

Last night at PNC Park – with the playoff-starved crowd reaching deafening levels – the Pirates were able to extend their first over-.500 season since “November Rain” was unleashed upon the world, with a 6-2 win over the Cincinnati Reds. Russell Martin deepened the Pirates lineup, going yard twice, while Marlon Byrd – waiting his entire 12 year career for a postseason at-bat – took full advantage, taking Johnny Cueto deep to left. Andrew McCutchen, the butter to the Bucs’ bread, also got on base four times.  


Francisco Liriano pitched 7 innings of one-run ball, and will probably make the Game 3 start on short rest. A.J. Burnett will get the ball in Game 1 against the Cards, a sentence that will certainly make Yankee fans think back fondly on their time with the righty and vomit relentlessly.


So while it’s a borderline-historic time in Pittsburgh, there is still a lot of work to be done, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Aw, fuck it. Go nuts. 

Also on Maxim.com:

The Maxim 2013 MLB Regular Season Awards

Geno Smith: Now Starring in “Butt Fumble: The Sequel”