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The FBI's Official Guide to Twitter Slang Will Have You ROTFL

The G-Men are tackling social media with the help of an 83-page dictionary of obscure acronymns.

Photo: Warner Bros.|

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been distributing an 83-page internal report that lists all of the complicated code-phrases used by vast networks of middle schoolers to coordinate lunch plans. The agency has looked into it and learned the meaning behind shady acronyms like SOIDH ("screenshot or it didn't happen") and TPK ("total party kill"). Miraculously not on the list: WOGM ("waste of goverment money").

The report became public after MuckRock, a website dedicated to maintaining the transparency of government agencies, used the Freedom of Information Act to solicit various documents from the organization, among them, this bona fide treasure trove. 

While the report comes across as positively absurd - if only because of its length and content and everything else about it - it's good to see the FBI trying to keep up with the times by monitoring and (presumably) attempting to infiltrate social media. After all, this is the '90s, and you can't thwart terrorism without a deep, Bureau-wide understanding of the fact that TOTES or TOTZ or TOTS may all be a secret way for teenage girls to say "totally." 

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