Next May, Marvel Comics' Norse god of Thunder and future Avenger Thor comes crashing to Midgard (that'd be Earth, noobs) for director Kenneth "Wait, this isn't Shakespeare?" Branagh. The story sees the brash young Asgardian run afoul of his father and sent into exile on a planet where Natalie Portman lives. And this is supposed to be a punishment. Anyway, check out what secrets lie within the first official trailer...
Did you stay for the end credits of Iron Man 2? Then you saw S.H.I.E.L.D. discovering a hammer in the New Mexico desert. Well, they've since built a base around it.
"Ice-cold stethoscope? I SAY THEE 'NAY'!" Yeah, never prod a deity.
Thor isn't jazzed about the whole "E.T. packed in dry ice" schtick S.H.I.E.L.D. is trying to play, and he lets them know it.
"I regret nothing!"
Remember this guy? Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) from Iron Man and Iron Man 2? If S.H.I.E.L.D. head honcho Nick Fury is the GM of the Avengers, this guy's pretty much the coach.
And there he is. Thor Odinson, the God of Thunder. Apparently the folks at Hasbro were heavily involved in the casting...
Thor's homeworld, Asgard, in all its Kirby-ian glory. Fun fact: The entire city is made out of pipe organs.
The palace of Odin, the All-Father. Or the Church of Latter Day Ren Faires. Either one.
Now we get to see some other Asgardians. This is Sif, played by Jaimie Alexander. In actual Norse mythology, she's Thor's wife. In the comics, she's his badass ladyfriend and occasional hay-romp partner. The kind of chick who can hunt Frost Giants and cuddle? Why must you taunt us, comic books?
And this is Hogun the Grim, one of the famed "Warriors Three". As you can see, Branagh is thinking outside the ethnic box by making Hogun less Scandinavian than he is in the comics.
"Halt! For 'tis Hammer time."
A better look at Odin, played by Anthony Hopkins. He is not to be trifled with. For realz.
Heimdall, the Guardian of the Rainbow Bridge (hey now) that leads into Asgard. Heimdall is known as the "White God" (not a joke) so, naturally, Branagh cast The Wire's Idris Elba.
Johnny Slick here is Thor's half-brother, Loki (played by newcomer Tom Hiddleston). He's known as the Trickster God, so you can totes trust him with your lady and your money.
That is, indeed, Rene Russo as Odin's wife and Thor's mom, Frigga. (That's also Sif again). Yes, her name is Frigga. Frigga Vagina, Mr. Bond.
So Thor is cast out of Asgard, lands on Earth, and the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is Natalie Portman (as Dr. Jane Foster). Yeah, nice "punishment."
Last week it was Green Lantern in his underwear, now this. Have at it, comments section!
Any movie that adds Stellan Skarsgaard to it is made 56% better. It's science.
Looks like some Asgardians follow Dr. Thor Medicine Woman to Earth. Sif (far left) and the fabled "Warriors Three" - Fandral the Dashing (the blonde dude with the Van Dyke), Volstagg the Voluminous (played by one-time Punisher Ray Stevenson) and that Hogun guy again.
"Cans't Thou dig iiiiiiiiiiiit?"
This is the Destroyer. He's pretty much an Asgardian Terminator.
And he tends to do shit like this.
Once again: Piss of Odin. Get this. (Punishment - you're doing it wrong)
The trailer ends with Loki and Odin having a super-powered throwdown. Thor wields his mighty hammer Mjolnir (pronounced "suck it, nerd") and Loki has his spear named Gungnir. It's the Norse equivalent of nicknaming your junk.
Thor opens everywhere May 2011. Thou hast been forewarned.