Every week, we send someone stumbling into the dark Maxim archives to see what we were up to way back when. This week we're going back to September of '98, when Kelly Bundy was our dream girl, remote controls only had a few buttons, and it was socially acceptable for men to drink complicated, colorful shots.
Cover Girl: Christina Applegate
Where You've Seen Her: In the early '90s Christina Applegate came into our lives playing the super hot offspring of Al Bundy in Married With Children. While we reluctantly said goodbye to her (and her infamous hot pants) when the show ended in 1997, we gladly re-welcomed Christina a year later in a new sitcom called Jesse, in which she played a single mother working at her father's German-themed bar. Suffice it to say that we gained a newfound appreciation for the dirndl.
Where She Is Now: In the 14 years that've passed since Christina graced our pages, she's kept up a successful career while maintaining her epic hotness. Starring alongside Hollywood elite Cameron Diaz (The Sweetest Thing), Will Ferrell (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy), Drew Barrymore (Going The Distance), and Jason Sudeikis (Hall Pass), it seems safe to say that Christina won't be deviating from the spotlight anytime soon.
Remember the days when TV only had 10 channels, making your viewing experience easy and simple, if a little boring? Yeah, neither do we. In a world where DVRs, on demand, and 500 HD channels are the norm, you can imagine our surprise when we opened up this issue to find a TV controller with only six buttons. Six! We don't care that we only know what four of the 72 buttons on our current remote actually do, we refuse to go back!
Shot To Hell
In case you weren't aware, we love our booze. Between Jagermeister, Kahlua, and other assorted concoctions most people wouldn't dream of making, we're pretty much guaranteed to drink it. But we've never heard of anyone drinking these craftily named shots. While the "Purple Fuck" (is that code for a compromising situation with Barney?) and "Bloody Brain" sound delicious, there's no way we would make our way to the bar just to order them. Honestly, if your bartender doesn't laugh at you for ordering one of these, you should probably find a new bar.