What do dinosaurs, postseason baseball, Claire Danes, and bazookas have in common? Not a damn thing, you weirdo. Those just happen to be some of the many awesome things on television this week.
Monday, Sept. 26
8:00 p.m. Terra Nova(Fox)
Take one part Lost and one part Jurassic Park, and you've got the highly anticipated new sci-fi action series Terra Nova. Executive produced by Steven Spielberg, the epic new saga finds a group of people in the year 2149, who must travel back to the prehistoric period to a settlement called Terra Nova in an attempt to alter the doomed fate of the Earth. Jeez, did they learn nothing from Lost or Jurassic Park or that episode of The Simpsons where Homer accidentally time travels and steps on a fish and screws everything up? This won't end well, people! But, hey, when in doubt, just have Evangeline Lily or Jeff Goldblum as guest stars. They were pretty good at getting people out of time travel and dinosaur-related jams.
Tuesday, Sept. 27
8:00 p.m. Catching Hell (ESPN)
Hell hath no fury--or knows no disappointment--quite like a scorned Chicago Cubs fan. They've been hathin' fury for a hell of a long time, after all. Nobody knows that better than Steve Bartman, the poor bastard who reached for a foul ball at Wrigley Field during Game 6 of the 2003 National League Championship Series. Bartman caught shit from outfielder Moises Alou, who couldn't catch the ball for shit himself. But none of it compared to the barrage of shit he caught from the city of Chicago, who all but killed the then-26-year-old and blamed him for the Cubs not going to the World Series again. This new documentary explores that schadenfreude moment, how it played out initially and if the city is still holding a grudge against him. Spoiler alert: Until the Cubs actually win a championship, they'll pretty much all be waiting to see Bartman in hell.
Wednesday, Sept. 28
9:00 p.m. Mythbusters(Discovery)
The 10th season of the scientific/super dangerous series kicks off by putting guns and motorcycles to the test. Though, probably much to the disappointment of Mad Max fans, not at the same time. Rather, Grant, Tory, and Kari, the busters of myths, try to uncover if motorcycles are a "greener" option than cars and if a bullet can take out a bazooka. They're going to find out or die trying!
Thursday, Sept. 29
8:30 p.m. Parks and Recreation (NBC)
Any Parks and Rec fanatic can tell you that Ron's ex Tammy 2 (played by Nick Offerman's real-life wife Megan Mullally) is a heinous she-woman that turns our favorite wood-whittling carnivore into a sex-crazed shell of his former self. Then again, they hadn't met Tammy 1 yet. Ron--and viewers--will have to guard their loins as the most cunning, disturbing ex-wife you've ever laid eyes on (played scarily well by Patricia Clarkson) arrives in Pawnee and turns everything upside down. You'll love this "mother" of all exes no more after this episode.
Sunday, Oct. 2
10:00 p.m. Homeland(Showtime)
Claire Danes returns to the small screen in this new Showtime series as a CIA operative who suspects a rescued POW (Damian Lewis) who is regarded as a war hero is actually an enemy agent working with al Qaeda to assist with another act of terrorism in the U.S. Or, as we'll be calling it around here, My So-Called Traitor.
10:30 p.m. How to Make It in America (HBO)
Let's be honest, most "how to" manuals are pretty boring. HBO figured out the quickest way to get anyone to pay attention to their trusty guide of How to Make It in America: Put Lake Bell in it! (Shoulda figured that one out sooner, new CBS sitcom How to Be a Gentleman!) The premiere episode of the second season of the dramedy picks up with Bell's character Rachel returning from her trip abroad, only to discover she's still pining over Ben (Bryan Greenberg.) Of course, Ben is too distracted to notice as his company CRISP attire took off in Tokyo, but still needs to make it in America. Oh, if only there was a show to tell him how!
All Freakin' Weekend
Major League Baseball Postseason(TBS)
Starting on Thursday, September 29 (hey, as far as we're concerned, the weekend starts somewhere around 4:30 p.m. on Wednesday) the postseason officially kicks off. At the time this post was written we couldn't say exactly which teams will begin the battle for the World Series, but we can say with the utmost certainty the Chicago Cubs won't be in it and we're pretty sure that meddling Steve Bartman had something to do with it.