Get in the holiday spirit with zip-lining Santas, a Wipeout special called "Deck the Balls", and a new horror mini-series from Stephen King. Guess which one you'll want to gather the whole family around for?!
Monday, Dec. 5
9:00 p.m. The Closer (TNT)
During tonight's holiday-themed episode of Kyra Sedgwick's sassy cop drama, Santa pulls a Hugh Jackman and zip-lines into a Christmas village with some disastrous results. (Honestly, what could possibly be worse than zip-lining into Oprah? I mean dying is pretty bad, and all, but...) Then, just in case dead Santas weren't enough to get you to tune in, there's even a guest appearance by a very much alive Christine Woods. They don't call it the most wonderful time of the year for nothin'. Though, dead-from-zip-lining Santa may argue otherwise.
10:00 p.m. Scouted (E!)
Just like the glorious America's Next Top Model which paved the way for this sort of programming, this latest reality series about aspiring models called Scouted, is one of those rare shows you'll be obligated to watch with your girlfriend, but will actually enjoy. Thanks in part--nay, entirely--to the fact that its about aspiring models. Fair warning though, you'll have to play it cool and re-assure her you're not longingly gawking at tonight's guest consultant Bar Rafaeli.
Tuesday, Dec. 6
10:00 p.m. Sons of Anarchy (FX)
In the season four finale of Sons of Anarchy, Jax (Charlie Hunman) has to face down he cartel to complete the gun deal with the Irish. But, hey, don't worry, he's with SAMCRO, what could possibly go wrong? Oh right, everything conceivably possible. Good luck, Jax.
Thursday, Dec. 8
8:00 p.m. Winter Wipeout: Deck the Balls (ABC)
This special winter episode of Wipeout checks off just about everything on your holiday wish lists: Sexy ladies (newcomer Vanessa Minnillo-Lachey makes her debut as co-host tonight), jokes about balls (heck, it's right there in the title) and, of course, hilarious footage of people slipping, falling, and thanks to an obstacle called the Nutcracker Sweet, possibly getting hit in the nuts.
Saturday, Dec. 10
8:00 p.m. Spike TV's Video Game Awards 2011 (Spike)
Nerds unite! If you've spent the past year parked in front of your television playing relentlessly addictive video games (and let's face it, you have) like Batman: Arkham City, The Legend of Zelda: Skyram Sword, Portal 2, or Uncharted 3, the ass groove in your couch won't have been made in vain. In fact, keep your ass firmly planted in that position to watch an awards show entirely dedicated to video games, including categories like Game of the Year, Best Driving Game, Best Fighting Game, Best Team Sports Game, and Best Song in a Game.
Sunday, Dec. 11
8:00 p.m. The Amazing Race (CBS)
While Zach Galifianakis' still-hilarious joke "That show on CBS called The Amazing Race, is that about white people?" may have been more entertaining than the entire 19th season of said Emmy-winning show, it's always fun to watch those final, tense minutes to see who gets the $1 million. Plus, hey, you never know, we could all get lucky and something like this could happen again.
9:00 p.m. Stephen King's Bag of Bones (A&E)
Part one of the mini-series, adapted from the Stephen King book of the same name, finds a grieving widower (Pierce Brosnan) taking solace at his lake house until he gets visited by an unwelcome guest. (Spoiler alert: It's a g-g-g-ghost, Scoobs.)