Louie CK, multiple personalities and vampire boobies. We're staying in this week.
There's a lot of TV options to choose from. Too much for any one person to completely monitor, but that doesn't mean we're not going to do our best to sift through all the listings and figure out what you should be watching every week...with all the highlights, lowlights, and guilty pleasures you can stand. This week alone there's vampires that suck in the non-Twilight way, a farewell to TV's favorite nutso mom, and discovering 101 Ways To Leave A Game Show (hint: all 101 of which include contestants making total asses of themselves for our amusement!)
Monday, June 20
10:30 p.m. United States of Tara (Showtime)
United States of Tara had all the makings of a main character we wouldn't like: a married mom with multiple personalities. That's more baggage than an airport carousel, amiright?! But, despite the bad-on-paper aspect, this turned out to be one of the most enjoyable shows on TV thanks to Emmy-winner Toni Collette's fearless performance(s). Sadly, Showtime has decided to give Tara and her personalities the axe, making this episode the series finale. It's a bummer sure, but then again, with Tara going off the air, this could give series creator Diablo Cody some much-needed time to pen a sequel to a sequel to Jennifer's Body (yes, we still want one!)
Tuesday, June 21
9:00 p.m. 101 Ways To Leave A Game Show (ABC)
This British import takes one part Fear Factor and one part Wipeout, giving us 101 reasons to watch this game show in which contestants answer multiple choice questions in order to win a couple grand - and hopefully avoid the consequences of answering wrong, such as getting dropped from extraordinary heights or being dragged behind a speedboat. We especially like the way in which some people leave the show without any money or a single shred of their dignity.
Thursday, June 23
10:00 p.m. Suits (USA)
If you managed to get past the scorching hot cover of this month's Maxim featuring the one and only Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, first of all, kudos, second of all, perhaps you noticed our Summer TV preview which featured, among some other new stay-indoors-worthy programs, Suits. We're pretty psyched for the legal drama--which has its 75-minute series premiere tonight--about a pair of hotshot, mismatched lawyers. Yeah, it sounds a little like a serious spin on Franklin and Bash, so sue us, we like all these new lawyer shows. (Side bar: our legal department would like to inform you, you cannot sue us for this.)
10:30 p.m. Louie (FX)
The brilliant Louis C.K. might just give Larry David and Curb Your Enthusiasm a run for their money for heralding the title of Greatest Television Show In Which A Hilarious Comedian Plays The Socially Inept And Sad Sack Version Of Himself thanks to his gut-busting and often bizarre series Louie. The show, which blends his stand-up bits with some blisteringly funny and sometimes hits-close-to-home single guy story lines, gave some great moments in season one (including one in which he played a cop opposite a rightfully annoyed Matthew Broderick) and we can't wait to see what painfully awkward mishaps season two--which premieres tonight--brings.
Friday, June 24
11:00 p.m. VH1 Unplugged: Mumford and Sons (VH1)
Mumford and Sons not only gave us one of the best albums in recent memory with Sigh No More, but they also helped the Grammys not suck (no small feat) thanks to their incredible performance with fellow non-shitty acts Bob Dylan and The Avett Brothers. On that alone, they deserve our undivided attention as they perform hits like "Little Lion Man" and "The Cave" for their first VH1 Unplugged session. Plus, we want to see during which song front man Marcus Mumford will finally reveal that he really is Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow. Our money's on the B-side fan favorite tune, "I Really Look Like Tim Tebow. It's Kinda Weird, Right?"
Saturday, June 25
9:00 p.m. Celebrity Ghost Stories (Bio)
The new episode of this reality docu series, in which famous people recall their own experiences with paranormal activity, gets scary good when beauties Eva Amurri and Natasha Henstridge tell the Bio cameras about a haunting presence that freaked them out (Side bar: Our legal department would like to inform you these were ghosts and most definitely not Maxim staffers.) There's also a bound-to-be entertaining segment from Bret Michaels in which he, presumably, blames his Tony Awards mishap on the Phantom of the Opera.
Sunday, June 26
10:00 p.m. True Blood (HBO)
True Blood may have started to tread into jump-the-shark-infested waters when last season's finale found Sookie (the always-heavenly Anna Paquin turning into a fairy, but you better believe we're still going to tune in for the show's return. Hey, with Game of Thrones on break we have to get our graphic sex and violence fix somehow this summer!