What We’re Watching This Week: College Football, Amazon Pilots, and Kevin Hart at the Box Office

There will be bull riders in Madison Square Garden. Make fun if you want, but it’s better than the Knicks.
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There will be bull riders in Madison Square Garden. Make fun if you want, but it’s better than the Knicks.
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Monday

The days of lackluster Monday-night match ups (Bears v. Jets!) are over and the College Football Playoff Championship Bowlapalooza has arrived. On one side: The Buckeyes, a hefty, disciplined group of bruisers coached by Urban Meyer, a recruiting violation given corporeal form. On the other side: The No-Gerund Ducks, an undersized flock of PAC12 sprinters quarterbacked by Heismann Winner and future Nike-sponsored first round pick Marcus Mariota. America is about 15% less excited about this game than the NCAA hoped it would be (most of the people in that percent live south of the Mason-Dixon), but we’re still pumped.

There’s also going to be a new Avengers trailer that airs during the game so it’s got something for everyone.

Tuesday

To a certain type of sleeveless American, this January 13 is something just short of a holiday. Bonnaroo will be streaming its annual Lineup Announcement Megathon from six to nine ET and that means, well, no one really knows - that being the point of the announcement. In the past, BLAM! has feature “Weird” Al, Wayne Coyne and a bunch of other dudes with great hair playing music. This year, fans will be doing the announcing and there will definitely be some footage from previous Skrillex sets. Otherwise, expect surprises, which is a weird and paradoxical activity if there ever was one.Tuesday will also bring us another chance to hang out with our oafish but sweet friends from Indiana. And, no, we’re not talking about the Colts. The final season of Parks and Recreation will debut (to the sort of universal praise that makes recapping pointless) on NBC, prompting the network to panic about what to do next.

Wednesday

The Detroit Auto Show has everything you could want in an auto show: Lots of cars. We’ll be reading and re-reading the analysis of the latest models and scoping the hell out of the new Infiniti Q60, a twin-turbo sport coupe created by a designer who couldn’t sketch straight. That’s the tip of the automotive iceberg and we’ll be doing a deep dive.

We’ll also be checking out the Instagram of one Nia Sanchez. Ms. Sanchez is the American aspirant to the throne of Ms. Universe. Her chosen pageant, which takes place next week, has not eliminated the swimsuit portion and Ms. Sanchez knows how to wear a two piece.

Thursday

Say what you will about Jeff Bezos and Amazon (insert unsafe warehouse conditions joke here), but the most powerful Seattle brand not in the coffee business doesn’t half-ass anything. The company opens its first pilot season on January 15 and the lineup is as expansive as it is impressive. Petulant documentary Alex Gibney has teamed up with The New Yorker to produce a 60 Minutes for an ever-so-slightly more sprightly demographic and Ridley Scott is Executive-Producing - best Hollywoodspeak compound verb ever - a show about what would have happened if the Nazis won WWII and Americans fomented a rebellion. Sounds completely nuts. We’re pumped. Hell, these people just won a Golden Globe.

Friday

There’s a professional bull riding show at Madison Square Garden. Be dismissive if you want, but rodeo studs are new wingsuit flyers. You heard is here first.

The Wedding Ringer, micro-comic Kevin Hart’s latest adventure in mainstream appeal debuts on the 16th. Hart is great, but the movie doesn’t look particularly inspired. That’s fine by us because it provides an opportunity to see how powerful Hart’s box office mojo has become. Our bet? Super powerful. That’s good news even if it’s a mediocre movie.

Weekend

This is a huge weekend for the NHL…. Just kidding. Football; football; football.

Photos by Instagram.com/realniasanchez