82-Year-Old Woman Calls Cops After Hearing Her Neighbor Chant “ISIS Is Good” During Sex

That sounds reasonable.
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That sounds reasonable.
Photo: Getty

Photo: Getty

Dirty talk varies from person to person. I tend to stick with the classics — “oh yeah” or “don’t stop” or “harder” or “something extremely filthy that will remain redacted because my mom reads all my articles” — but I’m not here to judge what you’re shouting in the throes of passion.

An 82-year-old woman in Wisconsin, however, was alarmed when she allegedly heard one of her neighbors chanting “ISIS is good, ISIS is great” during sex. According to CBS 58, she called the Brown Deer Police to report it (because we live in an era of extreme paranoia that’s being encouraged by certain presidential frontrunners, haha who said that?). Brown Deer Police Chief Kass responded in a tweet, below. 

I’m almost certain that nobody was really chanting “ISIS is good, ISIS is great” while getting dicked down — which leads me to question what the elderly neighbor might have actually heard. My theories: 

  • Nice and good, nice and great (a little boring, but glad everyone was having a good time) 
  • Isis is good, Isis is great (but in reference to Bob Dylan’s song on Desire)
  • *Uhhhhhhhyeahhhhhuhhhhhhh* (incomprehensible moaning but her hearing aid was turned down and Fox News was on in the background so she got confused) 

Regardless, if you're incorporating the names of major terrorist organizations into your bedroom routine, it may be time to rethink that.