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Virtual Trainer

Star Rating: 
9 out of 10

Can a non-existent person whip your ass into shape? Fat Geeky Guy finds out! 

Knape/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2014

The Pitch: bills itself as an online virtual personal trainer and nutritionist that actually works.

What it really is: A not-annoying and easy way to get in better shape (and everyone knows, I need it!) According to founder Sergio Tradl, BodBot looks at your relevant schedule and goals, and a basic model of your body, then algorithmically puts together an optimal workout. On days I’m supposed to exercise, BodBot sends me a reminder email and a list of my workout items. BodBot handles everything – it even helps with improving your nutrition. Fact: I told BodBot I ate pizza for three straight meals, and it magically suggested I should add a few vegetables to my diet...but isn’t that what toppings are for?

Who’s it for: People who are trying to finally get serious about their health and don't want to spend a lot of money. BodBot is especially helpful for us fitness n00bs – using a few simple fitness tests, BodBod determined the best workout for my fitness level and body type (essentially: round) and set up workouts that actually made sense.

What’s Extra Cool: No gym needed! Tell BodBod what equipment (if any) you have access to, and it’ll automatically build a workout schedule based on whatever you have available. Also awesome? The photos of some of the women on the site. Seriously. I only have one they like fat guys?

What’s Missing: Phone numbers. Call me, fitness ladies…you look like you could use a good meal.

Check out No More Manboobs and The Bro Science Guide To Crossfit