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The Slob's Guide To Fitness

Seven men. Two months. Seven workout regimens. Who would come out alive?

Dan Bova, Chief Content Officer

Photographed for Maxim by John Loomis | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2014

What it is: You know Insanity? Those DVD commercials with Shaun T promising you sweat, pain, results, and some more pain? This is a quickie version. Who doesn’t love a quickie? 
Frequency: 25 minutes five days a week, with the option for double sessions on Fridays (an option I never elected).
Convenience: It’s fast and can be done in your living room, so it’s convenient for loved ones to mock you from the couch.
Intensity: Fierce! Cardio! Strength! Flexibility! Prepare for a full-scale Shaun-tervention on your flab!
X-factor: The program recommended drinking Shakeology meal-replacement supplements, but I did that one time only because, frankly, it made me shit my brains out.
Results: Very good! My clothes fit better, and I had more energy for snacking. 
But can you do it drunk? Definitely! Having a little bit of whiskey swirling around in your brain makes for some interesting head rushes while doing burpees.
Calories Burned: 300-400 (So it'll take four workouts to burn off those Cheetos.)

On Dan: Champion Powertrain T-Shirt, $20, and shorts, $25,