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The Slob's Guide To Fitness

Patrick Carone, Entertainment Director

Photographed for Maxim by John Loomis | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2014

$32–$35 per class
What it is: Intense spinning classes where you’re surrounded by girls. The instructors are also DJs, so you hear lots of high-energy dance music. The other day they played the new Britney, and it was wonderful.
Frequency: Two or three 45-minute classes a week.
Convenience: There are studios all over New York City, and there are several in California. I was in central Florida on vacation for a week, though, so I was off the hook. No studios in the sticks!
Intensity: The sessions didn’t get any easier, but maybe that was because I picked tougher and tougher instructors.
X-factor: The classes have been 90 percent female. The girls are cute, mostly in their early 20s… Yes, I feel like a creepster taking a class with them. 
Results: SoulCycle is best for a guy who wants to improve his overall fitness. And the women-filled classes might actually motivate you to get off your ass and exercise. A couple of my buddies told me I looked “less fat,” and my fiancée said my calves look great. Score! 
But can you do it drunk? It’s a great workout to do hung over. At morning classes on Saturday and Sunday, the instructors will even take into account the fact that half the class was likely partying the night before. (“We’re going to start slowly to work off those vodka-sodas!”) I would never do it drunk, though. I’d be scared of popping out of my bike and crashing headfirst into the sweaty butt in front of me.
Calories Burned: 400-600 in your average SoulCycle class.

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