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The Slob's Guide To Fitness


Bikram Yoga
Christian Smith, Research Chief

Photographed for Maxim by John Loomis | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2014
 
$8–$34 per class
What it is: Also known as hot yoga, this is all about contorting yourself into pretzel-like positions in sauna-esque conditions. The Bikram folks say that in order to work “every muscle, tendon, ligament, joint, and internal organ,” you need a warmer, more flexible body.
Frequency: Two to three 90-minute classes per week in 104°F heat.
Convenience: Travel/class/recovery took about three hours. In order to hit Bikram before work, I had to get up at 5:45! 
Intensity: Grueling. Twenty-six poses, most of them crazy, each performed twice, with very few breaks. I smoked pot before one class just to see if it helped me concentrate. The answer: maybe.  
X-factor: It’s about 70 percent women, but there’s no talking, so it’s not a pickup joint.
Results: Strangely, the classes got more challenging as I got better at it, but whenever an instructor complimented one of my poses, it felt like a small victory. 
But can you do it drunk? No! Hung over? Only if you’re keeping water down and can go 90 minutes without hitting the can.
Calories Burned: 500-1K in a 90-minute Bikram class (250 mg. of caffeine can up calories burned by 10 percent).

On Christian: REI Sariska Tee, $35, and shorts $55, REI.com, Yogitoes Skidless Towel, $68, Yogitoes.com

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