Your insatiable appetite for Nutella is leading to criminal behavior.
If you haven’t heard, a particularly delicious caper occurred this weekend, when thieves managed to swipe 5 tons of Nutella off of a truck in Niederaula, Germany. The loot is estimated to be worth about $20,710, which isn’t a whole lot of money from a criminal heist perspective…but that’s not to say this wasn’t a mastermind heist.
First of all, jars of chocolate-hazelnut spread are far less conspicuous than illegal harvested kidneys or tropical birds, making the stolen goods much easier to transport and less likely to arouse suspicion.
Secondly, we’re betting that there’s a far bigger market for this delicious goo than there is for 17th century landscape paintings and, dare we say, iPhones or Blu-ray players. Everyone knows that Nutella is expensive – over $6 a pop even at discount supermarkets – and no one is going to buy a previously used jar online at a discount price, second-hand electronics style. (Well, feel free to argue with us on that one.) All these thieves really have to do to make a profit off their bulk product is peddle it to a shady bodega owner or to a bunch of Columbia University students, who have reportedly been going through at least 100 pounds of it a day.
Finally, there’s always the chance that these thieves simply stole the goods for themselves. What’s the downside to a lifetime supply of Nutella?
Get more food and humor with The Best April Fools Food Pranks and Chocolate Bacon.